The Beginner's Mind

These days, everyday, I need nervous about how I can accomplish something  or

not, and every time I put into a situation, I somehow find a way to deal with the

situation, and it is over. After that, worries begins.

Today, I was to go to the barber. I was even worried whether can I talk well with

the barber or not!? If I am a person who stay all day at home, and have not being

talking with others for a long time, it sounds fine. However, I am a person who go

outside to part time more than 3 times a week, and I talk with many people

there and I also talk with parents and friends.

Just a Talk.

I was like how the fucking weak I am!?

Was I like this before?

I realized I started to feel like this after reading first part of 33 strategies of war

by Robert Greene.

Strategy 2 DO NOT FIGHT THE LAST WAR
The idea is that every situation is different. Things and people changes. Therefore,
what worked last time may not work again. Adapt to what is to the present situation. See the reality and act according to it, NOT WHAT WORKED IN THE PAST.

I want to believe that I am not, but I tend to use what worked in the past over

and over again. I tend to use communication style which was useful and in the

past over and over again. In my case, I tend to listen 80 percent, and I do not

talk especially interestingly. However, I need to talk about myself interestingly or

saying something fun. The timing is the key in communication. Always saying

jokes is also not enough. OK, I will write about communication later.

I try to avoid fighting the last war, so I feel nervous about every new encounter

because every situation is different. If I follow a simple routine and act the same,

I will feel confident and feel safe. However, it means fighting the last war because

I think the next situation will be the same as the last time, and it is not based on

reality.

Today, I watched an interview of Robert Greene on YouTube, and He said in the

interview that when he start writing a new book, he feels intense fear of failing.

I think that this is a way to approach life to see the reality.

We feel fear and nervous no matter how experienced we are.

Then, where confidence come from? Do we have to fear all the time?

Yes, we feel fear or anxious nervous, not matter what.

However, accept it and we know and do the best, using all that we have at the

time. It might not work, but trying the best and overcome it.

Remember nothing will be perfect in life.

Confidence should come from the trust in myself, not from illusionary confident

that comes from false belief.