3 things I am grateful for
I am grateful for having air to breath.
I am grateful for having access to home, water and food. It is not because my power, but others are working for us somewhere to provide food, gas, water, and so on and on.
I am grateful for my mother, father and brother and grand parents are still alive, and I am given time to spend time with them.
3 goals I wanna accomplish today
1.I finish storyboard for my animation project.
2.Live accordance to this quotes.
First, do nothing inconsiderately, nor without a purpose. Second, make thy acts refer to nothing else than to a social end.
3.Live a human life, while living accordance to Nature.
2019年9月30日月曜日
2019年9月28日土曜日
Weekly Journal from 9/23 to 9/28.
9/23
I went to school. I have not met students there, so I felt nervous.
I started to draw illustration. It is about self-reliance. I am really excited to express myself though drawing.
I think expression is one of the greatest things in life. I hope a future when everyone expressing their idea freely without feeling judged.
9/24
I started to make an animation work with other students in class. I will be in charge of that. I am responsible for everything including quality. This is very responsible, but a great chance to learn about leadership and finishing a project. I have to work so hard I am going to die after this project.
Do not trust other team members. I need to think I am going to finish this project by myself.
9/25
I practiced background drawings, and I felt other students are better than me. It made me inferior. In group, we tend to compare myself with others. I need to master this, and others will feel the same, too. It is human nature, but how to deal with that!?
9/26
The day was about job hunting and after that it was about animation. I need to finish storyboard by the next week. I need to make many of them, so that which is the most interesting. I need to have them seen by many, so that I can have objective opinions from others.
I think it is better to take this 2 weeks.
One for making first draft and two for making it better.
Anyway this one will be the worst animation ever I will see.
9/27
There was a class on sketch. It was very useful. I knew most of what the teacher has said, but it is very great for him to explain what he has said in an easy to understand way. I need to draw if I want to be able to draw well. That is very simple and easy.
I helped an English space at ECC comp. It seems that I can help that scape and earn some money with that. However, it was much more difficult than I thought. First, I have not taught English, so I did not have enough draws of English to say.
I think output and actually doing is one of the most important thing in life to learn anything.
If interested in something, just do it and practice it many times.
After that I had class on dessin. It was difficult. I need to practice drawing harder and harder. Remember drawing is a way to learn about the life, and I am a student of life.
After school, I stay at school to work on my animation project. We discussed with others students about it, and could get some feedback from others.
Do women feel feeling of inferiority? My answer will be yes.
I went to school. I have not met students there, so I felt nervous.
I started to draw illustration. It is about self-reliance. I am really excited to express myself though drawing.
I think expression is one of the greatest things in life. I hope a future when everyone expressing their idea freely without feeling judged.
9/24
I started to make an animation work with other students in class. I will be in charge of that. I am responsible for everything including quality. This is very responsible, but a great chance to learn about leadership and finishing a project. I have to work so hard I am going to die after this project.
Do not trust other team members. I need to think I am going to finish this project by myself.
The theme is Change.
9/25
I practiced background drawings, and I felt other students are better than me. It made me inferior. In group, we tend to compare myself with others. I need to master this, and others will feel the same, too. It is human nature, but how to deal with that!?
9/26
The day was about job hunting and after that it was about animation. I need to finish storyboard by the next week. I need to make many of them, so that which is the most interesting. I need to have them seen by many, so that I can have objective opinions from others.
I think it is better to take this 2 weeks.
One for making first draft and two for making it better.
Anyway this one will be the worst animation ever I will see.
9/27
There was a class on sketch. It was very useful. I knew most of what the teacher has said, but it is very great for him to explain what he has said in an easy to understand way. I need to draw if I want to be able to draw well. That is very simple and easy.
I helped an English space at ECC comp. It seems that I can help that scape and earn some money with that. However, it was much more difficult than I thought. First, I have not taught English, so I did not have enough draws of English to say.
I think output and actually doing is one of the most important thing in life to learn anything.
If interested in something, just do it and practice it many times.
After that I had class on dessin. It was difficult. I need to practice drawing harder and harder. Remember drawing is a way to learn about the life, and I am a student of life.
After school, I stay at school to work on my animation project. We discussed with others students about it, and could get some feedback from others.
Do women feel feeling of inferiority? My answer will be yes.
2019/09/27 Daily Journal
Hi. I was very busy, and could not upload these days.
As the school has started, I had so many new things to write about, but I was very tired, so I would like to write about what happened in this post.
In the morning, I was watching a video on how to flirt a girl, but I realized I was stupid because to get a girl friend or girl is one of the most foolish goal a man can have in their life.
What I want is mastery over myself, and being who I am.
Yeah, Being who I am means learning how to get a woman because biologically we want women. However, I do not think I want to date every woman I meet.
Rather, I wanna focus my attention on serving the humanity, others, people around me.
To just thinking about getting women makes me feel selfish.
Everything I do something for selfish reasons gives me no peace.
Anything I do for others I feel full and peace.
Therefore, I hate the word, flirt. It is selfish to have women just for sex for our own reason. I am not specialist at seducing women, and dating with them.
However, I want those who I interact with special, worth, and beautiful.
I wanna validate their importance because they are the only one in the world.
Anyway, seduction is a game, and life is not so serious. I need a sense of humor in life.
One this to be in mind for the rest of my life at every moment, and I will be happy no matter what.
As the school has started, I had so many new things to write about, but I was very tired, so I would like to write about what happened in this post.
In the morning, I was watching a video on how to flirt a girl, but I realized I was stupid because to get a girl friend or girl is one of the most foolish goal a man can have in their life.
What I want is mastery over myself, and being who I am.
Yeah, Being who I am means learning how to get a woman because biologically we want women. However, I do not think I want to date every woman I meet.
Rather, I wanna focus my attention on serving the humanity, others, people around me.
To just thinking about getting women makes me feel selfish.
Everything I do something for selfish reasons gives me no peace.
Anything I do for others I feel full and peace.
Therefore, I hate the word, flirt. It is selfish to have women just for sex for our own reason. I am not specialist at seducing women, and dating with them.
However, I want those who I interact with special, worth, and beautiful.
I wanna validate their importance because they are the only one in the world.
Anyway, seduction is a game, and life is not so serious. I need a sense of humor in life.
One this to be in mind for the rest of my life at every moment, and I will be happy no matter what.
"Serve the human race and Nature by doing the right thing at the every moment."
Do you wanna be a man always chasing women with no goal?
Absolutely No!
It is the worst!
I want to serve the world and die. I do not need women.
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no “brief candle” for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw
When I read this quotes when I was a high school student. I remember it touched my heart. However, I forgot the feeling and lived life mindlessly.
Now, this quotes came back to my mind again, and I feel I understand the deep meaning of this quotes.
I interpret this quotes in my own way.
We live a human life. assuming those who read this article to be a human being. Life is full of problems and worries, and most of the problems comes from relationships with other fellow human beings. We have to admit that. However, most of happiness and fulfillment comes from human relations, too.
We human can feel sense of peace and contribution by serving for a group we feel to belong to. It is a nature of social specie.
Do not see others as enemies, but allies.
One of the greatest thing a human being can do is caring human race as a group, and solving the problems we have with other fellows.
I got off the track. I am sorry,
I am very glad he left the book "The Laws of Human Nature" because I made me interested in the subject of human nature.
I want to be a student of human nature because I am a human being.
Just understanding is not enough. I have to live according to the mission moment by moment.
I got off the track. I am sorry,
I am very glad he left the book "The Laws of Human Nature" because I made me interested in the subject of human nature.
I want to be a student of human nature because I am a human being.
Just understanding is not enough. I have to live according to the mission moment by moment.
2019年9月26日木曜日
Conformity and Group
Believe in the reality, Truth, the laws of nature. Decide what you value. If you decide what you believe and your value go for it until you find another thing new to believe in.
You are unique and only one in the world.
No matter what others think of you and how others react to you. Go for it until you die. You live accordance to what you believe, not what others believe.
You may die today at any moment. Do you wanna live in your life or do you wanna live in others people's life.
The answer is easy.
Fear anything which makes you lose your sense of self-reliance, and label against it, even community you belong, family, society, friends, your loved one, even the laws.
It does not help you to be who you are, but put you into a mold, and make it easier to control you and make you what others expect you to be.
I am not saying that do everything you wanna to do, but decide yourself what you ought to do.
You are unique and only one in the world.
No matter what others think of you and how others react to you. Go for it until you die. You live accordance to what you believe, not what others believe.
You may die today at any moment. Do you wanna live in your life or do you wanna live in others people's life.
The answer is easy.
Fear anything which makes you lose your sense of self-reliance, and label against it, even community you belong, family, society, friends, your loved one, even the laws.
It does not help you to be who you are, but put you into a mold, and make it easier to control you and make you what others expect you to be.
I am not saying that do everything you wanna to do, but decide yourself what you ought to do.
2019年9月25日水曜日
2019/09/25 Daily Gratitude Journal
These days, the school has started,and I do not have much time to write, but I would like to keep advancing in my writing.
I broke up with my crush as I realize she is interested in another man, and I feel great feeling of pain as I see and imagine about it.
I can tell this by observing her facial expression of seeing the man she likes.
Feeling of breaking up
:Feeling that someone I cherish or I derive worth from. is interested in another person or leaving.
What can I do it? Be angry?
I broke up with my crush as I realize she is interested in another man, and I feel great feeling of pain as I see and imagine about it.
I can tell this by observing her facial expression of seeing the man she likes.
Feeling of breaking up
:Feeling that someone I cherish or I derive worth from. is interested in another person or leaving.
What can I do it? Be angry?
Only thing I can do is to accept it and love the fate rationally.
Everything in life is in a constant change of flax, and I cannot control it or predict it. We can guess what will happen in the future by learning human nature or studying history, but we cannot predict what exactly happen in the next moment.
Things happened is fated to occur and we cannot change it.
We cannot control what happens in life, but we can control how I respond to it.
This is one of the greatest characters of human beings I am really grateful.
Complain about it and nagging about it will just make me miserable and attached with the problem.
I can let down myself
or
I can accept and even love it to get advance and become a stronger man.
I feel disappointed, but this is not a feeling I cannot stand, I even think that by experiencing it over and over again, I can overcome my weakness, and get better.
"That which does not kill us, makes stronger."
Nietzsche
2019年9月23日月曜日
Master the Emotional Self
"You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself...the height of a man's success is gauged by his self-mastery;the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment...And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others."
Leonardo da Vinci
I start to analyze the characteristics of each emotion, and how to deal with them if we cannot deal with them, accept it and how to use it constructively.
Rules
Emotion is something which is really deep inside us. We feel it rather than we think about it. We use limbic system of the brain to deal with it.
1.Therefore, try not to put emotion into words, but feel it.
However, I need somehow to make them in words, so that it is understandable, which will be a very difficult task.
2.Calm the mind.
When the mind is full of thoughts and worries like waving sea, it is very difficult to detect what is actually happening inside. Therefore, I try to calm the mind by developing the skill of mindful meditation, and be in the present moment.
3.Imagination can also cause emotional reaction
One of the characteristics of emotion is that only imagining a curtain situation can cause us emotional reaction.
Therefore, we have to distinguish 2 types of emotion, emotion came from reality or emotion came from imagination.
The latter can be dealt by stopping thinking about it by controlling our ruling principles of desire and aversion.
4. Test the theory first!
Anything we read, listen or study can be tested in the reality, How my body responds to each situation or occurrence, and use what is useful and eliminate what is not. The ultimate goal is to accordance with the Realty, Nature,Dao or God, whatever we would like to call.
2019/09/23 Daily Gratitude Journal
What I am grateful for
1. I am alive, and I can observe and learn new things.
2. I can express my idea through drawing and writing.
3. I can breath and listen to nature.
4. I am grateful because I know the nature of emotions , and I am OK whatever things I fear happen in my life. The situation is not eternal. I can choose to live and recover.
5. I could meet great thinkers and teachers of life who thought much more than me about life and human nature and help others to live. I wanna live life like that.
My goal in the day.
1.What good can I do for the world, which contribution I can make to the human race, this world and nature.
2.I will study the human nature about group think. How I respond to the group environment. How the existence of others affect my way of acting, and how I can act against it when needed.
To solve this.
Use Stoism.
3.The use of the mind is good to analyze the information and make strategies.
My idea for mission statement.
push and pull
I belong to human race,the world, and nature, god, and I contribute to the world in my own way by living as a human being.
1. I am alive, and I can observe and learn new things.
2. I can express my idea through drawing and writing.
3. I can breath and listen to nature.
4. I am grateful because I know the nature of emotions , and I am OK whatever things I fear happen in my life. The situation is not eternal. I can choose to live and recover.
5. I could meet great thinkers and teachers of life who thought much more than me about life and human nature and help others to live. I wanna live life like that.
My goal in the day.
1.What good can I do for the world, which contribution I can make to the human race, this world and nature.
2.I will study the human nature about group think. How I respond to the group environment. How the existence of others affect my way of acting, and how I can act against it when needed.
To solve this.
Use Stoism.
3.The use of the mind is good to analyze the information and make strategies.
My idea for mission statement.
push and pull
I belong to human race,the world, and nature, god, and I contribute to the world in my own way by living as a human being.
2019年9月22日日曜日
2019/09/22 Daily Gratitude Journal
Frustration happens when we try to change others to live in a way which we expect others to live.
It is impossible to do that because we are different, and our way of seeing the world is unique based on DNA, influences.
See people as plants.
Today, in my dream, I saw my mother die in front of me.
Everything starts from small.
Help those who are around you, neibors, those who you meet today.
It is impossible to do that because we are different, and our way of seeing the world is unique based on DNA, influences.
See people as plants.
Today, in my dream, I saw my mother die in front of me.
Everything starts from small.
Help those who are around you, neibors, those who you meet today.
2019/09/19 Daily Journal
I do not remember much about the day, but I remember I swam and read books on stoicism.
I had a realization that what I read matters, but how to apply what I learned into my life that matters to control my situation.
I also had a revaluation about how our thinking affect our body and chemical structure.
My worth comes from myself.
Studying abroad
My relationships
My constant attempt to live in this harsh world
No one can deny my worth and my life.
We constantly fight up and down pull of life. It is easy that we let our negative thoughts or downward pull dominate our life. Life is battles in every moment.
I will not live as others expected me to live.
I am only one in the world.
How to control detachment from life and living my life.
Nothing is clunged to I.me or mine.
I had a realization that what I read matters, but how to apply what I learned into my life that matters to control my situation.
I also had a revaluation about how our thinking affect our body and chemical structure.
My worth comes from myself.
Studying abroad
My relationships
My constant attempt to live in this harsh world
No one can deny my worth and my life.
We constantly fight up and down pull of life. It is easy that we let our negative thoughts or downward pull dominate our life. Life is battles in every moment.
I will not live as others expected me to live.
I am only one in the world.
How to control detachment from life and living my life.
Nothing is clunged to I.me or mine.
2019年9月20日金曜日
Daily Gratitude Journal 2019/09/20
What am I grateful for?
1. Today, I go to school to meet other students and teachers in school. I am happy to go there and start learning something new there.
2. I am grateful for air to breath, hands and feet to move, and I can live today.
3. I have read a great book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People." , and I am sure that the author loved people. I am very grateful to meet him through books and understand his ideas.
What are my goals today?
1. I now have to start dealing with wars of life, which is to be thrown in the crowds. My human nature of desire to belong will be very strong and my tendency to compare myself with others and my life with others will be much stronger. Each of people there will be eager to get power and to feel secure there. It is kinds of a war. I have the same experience every time I face a situation with many people. The last time I had was the farewell party for my store manager. I am OK being lonely in the crowd I was used to be that way. Anyway, people and judgement of them are not in our control.
Relax and be myself. There is nothing wrong with me.
We are unique in some ways, and it is never appropriate to compare myself with others. Each of us are unique and one.
Individual is much bigger than words and judgement of others.
"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives conviction that envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion;that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature. and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tries."
2. Enjoy the present moment, and be myself.
3. Put my focus on others, outside and work.
1. Today, I go to school to meet other students and teachers in school. I am happy to go there and start learning something new there.
2. I am grateful for air to breath, hands and feet to move, and I can live today.
3. I have read a great book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People." , and I am sure that the author loved people. I am very grateful to meet him through books and understand his ideas.
What are my goals today?
1. I now have to start dealing with wars of life, which is to be thrown in the crowds. My human nature of desire to belong will be very strong and my tendency to compare myself with others and my life with others will be much stronger. Each of people there will be eager to get power and to feel secure there. It is kinds of a war. I have the same experience every time I face a situation with many people. The last time I had was the farewell party for my store manager. I am OK being lonely in the crowd I was used to be that way. Anyway, people and judgement of them are not in our control.
Relax and be myself. There is nothing wrong with me.
We are unique in some ways, and it is never appropriate to compare myself with others. Each of us are unique and one.
Individual is much bigger than words and judgement of others.
"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives conviction that envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion;that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature. and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tries."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the case, feeling miserable in the crowd, Adler says the feeling of your are worth, just by living and breathing is enough to live in this world and contributing to the world, so believe in yourself. I am connected with very precious lives, our ancestors, parents, and those who believe in me. Whatever the situation is, believe in myself. You are miracle in the world.
2. Enjoy the present moment, and be myself.
3. Put my focus on others, outside and work.
2019年9月19日木曜日
2019/09/18 Daily Journal
What happened
I woke up in the morning.
I went to work at 11:00, but it was too early, so I went back home and and went to work again.
I worked until the night, making burgers. I enjoyed to have a good time with people there.
I realized how women are beautiful and strong there, so I would like to write a post about that impression in the near future maybe tomorrow morning.
I really love them, and be a man who is entitled to be loved by them.
How love is diminished.
""
I need to focus my attention to other people, and do whatever I believe to be good for the world.
I woke up in the morning.
I went to work at 11:00, but it was too early, so I went back home and and went to work again.
I worked until the night, making burgers. I enjoyed to have a good time with people there.
I realized how women are beautiful and strong there, so I would like to write a post about that impression in the near future maybe tomorrow morning.
I really love them, and be a man who is entitled to be loved by them.
How love is diminished.
""
I need to focus my attention to other people, and do whatever I believe to be good for the world.
2019/09/19 Daily Gratitude Journal
What I am grateful for?
1. I am grateful for every precious moment that I have with people, nature, and life.
2. I am grateful for great people I admire who produced great works and helped me appreciate these beautiful works. I strongly think I want to be like them.
3. I am grateful for today to live and experience the nature.
What is my 3 target for today
1. Exercise
2. Find something interesting or beautiful about the world
3. Draw to know the nature
1. I am grateful for every precious moment that I have with people, nature, and life.
2. I am grateful for great people I admire who produced great works and helped me appreciate these beautiful works. I strongly think I want to be like them.
3. I am grateful for today to live and experience the nature.
What is my 3 target for today
1. Exercise
2. Find something interesting or beautiful about the world
3. Draw to know the nature
2019年9月18日水曜日
2019/09/18 Daily Gratitude Journal
3 things I am grateful for.
1. I can work with those who are very special at MacDonald. Each individual is precious and only one in this world.
2. I can breath, walk, talk, see, listen, and at last live.
3. I am grateful for the beautiful nature around the word. Great wind that blows to my face. the power of will to live of creatures. animals and plants.
3 goals
1. To enjoy and love every moment of life whatever I do including suffering.
2. Lean something new about the world.
3. Do something good for humanity.
1. I can work with those who are very special at MacDonald. Each individual is precious and only one in this world.
2. I can breath, walk, talk, see, listen, and at last live.
3. I am grateful for the beautiful nature around the word. Great wind that blows to my face. the power of will to live of creatures. animals and plants.
3 goals
1. To enjoy and love every moment of life whatever I do including suffering.
2. Lean something new about the world.
3. Do something good for humanity.
"The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow, and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune's control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining?"The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately. "
Seneca
2019年9月17日火曜日
2019/09/17 Daily Journal
What happened?
I just spend time as usual.
I read books, watch some youtube videos, write blogs, and did not practice drawings. I swam in the gym. However, I started to see how I should live my life.
When I was outside in Tokyo, I was kinds of lost in crowd, but I had enough time alone that I can start living again.
I started my main blog, Confront the Reality because this blog is like jotting down my random ideas.
Therefore, I made another blog to make my point clearer in the topic.
I started to decide where to go, which career I would like to pursue.
My next goal in life will be to write my mission statement again.
What is really important in life, and what I would like to do, what is my unique quality and so on.
My emotional reaction
When I see someone more successful than me, or getting more attention. I start to feel envy. It comes from comparing myself with others.
I think I cannot help feeling envy toward others. It is deeply ingrained as human nature. I think others will feel that way too. It is really dangerous feeling. I need to accept it and move on.
I have to think about some strategies for envy.
I just spend time as usual.
I read books, watch some youtube videos, write blogs, and did not practice drawings. I swam in the gym. However, I started to see how I should live my life.
When I was outside in Tokyo, I was kinds of lost in crowd, but I had enough time alone that I can start living again.
I started my main blog, Confront the Reality because this blog is like jotting down my random ideas.
Therefore, I made another blog to make my point clearer in the topic.
I started to decide where to go, which career I would like to pursue.
My next goal in life will be to write my mission statement again.
What is really important in life, and what I would like to do, what is my unique quality and so on.
My emotional reaction
When I see someone more successful than me, or getting more attention. I start to feel envy. It comes from comparing myself with others.
I think I cannot help feeling envy toward others. It is deeply ingrained as human nature. I think others will feel that way too. It is really dangerous feeling. I need to accept it and move on.
I have to think about some strategies for envy.
2019/09/17 Morning Gratitude
What am I grateful today?
1. I am grateful for my mother, father, and brother are alive.
2. I am grateful for the beautiful nature, and I have air to breath.
3. I am grateful for the peace which our fellow people established. I should not take this for granted.
What do I wanna do today, which is given by the life to live.
“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”
Viktor E.Frankl
I should not take one second of life for granted. It is very precious.
1.Enjoy every moment which is given.
2.Know something new about the world.
3.Serve others.
1. I am grateful for my mother, father, and brother are alive.
2. I am grateful for the beautiful nature, and I have air to breath.
3. I am grateful for the peace which our fellow people established. I should not take this for granted.
What do I wanna do today, which is given by the life to live.
“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”
Viktor E.Frankl
I should not take one second of life for granted. It is very precious.
1.Enjoy every moment which is given.
2.Know something new about the world.
3.Serve others.
2019年9月16日月曜日
2019/09/16 Daily Journal
What happened
I worked part-time.
I went to help another work place, Macdonald.
I met Suzuki-san at 10:30 at Macdonald Kusatsu, and he took me to the place to work by car.
He was a great guy, natural, and fun.
I was so busy making burgers.
After finishing the work, I ate burgers at MacDonald.
I think I need to reduce the money I spend because I used a lot in Tokyo.
I went back to home.
Listened to an audio book.
Videos on stoics.
Depressed, No will to do anything.
However, as I write this blog, and walk outside.
I started to feel a little bit better.
I have to practice drawing tomorrow.
I have homework to do.
Maybe draw a character design and clean up.
I want to draw Nietzsche, Zeus, and redraw Kull and Rin.
If I have time, I would like to draw one illustration and animation until the deadline.
By creating something which means putting focus outward, not inward, I will somehow feel different. Maybe, I am not sure about that.
Life is very absurd, in a constant change, and full of suffering.
Maybe, I will never understand it. I do not know.
However, I have to TRY to understand it and find a way of cope with it because I was born and I have to live anyway.
I worked part-time.
I went to help another work place, Macdonald.
I met Suzuki-san at 10:30 at Macdonald Kusatsu, and he took me to the place to work by car.
He was a great guy, natural, and fun.
I was so busy making burgers.
After finishing the work, I ate burgers at MacDonald.
I think I need to reduce the money I spend because I used a lot in Tokyo.
I went back to home.
Listened to an audio book.
Videos on stoics.
Depressed, No will to do anything.
However, as I write this blog, and walk outside.
I started to feel a little bit better.
I have to practice drawing tomorrow.
I have homework to do.
Maybe draw a character design and clean up.
I want to draw Nietzsche, Zeus, and redraw Kull and Rin.
If I have time, I would like to draw one illustration and animation until the deadline.
By creating something which means putting focus outward, not inward, I will somehow feel different. Maybe, I am not sure about that.
Life is very absurd, in a constant change, and full of suffering.
Maybe, I will never understand it. I do not know.
However, I have to TRY to understand it and find a way of cope with it because I was born and I have to live anyway.
2019/09/15 Daily Journal
Hi! These days, I am really in deep depression.
I think this is because I started to see deep animal nature of human beings, and dark sides.
I wanted to believe that life was full of hope, beauty and dream, but it was not so simple like Disney movies. I started to see life which I had ignored for a long time. It made me reject these parts of life.
However, I started to think that I need to accept it and live anyway. As Robert Greene says "Denying human nature will not change anything." I have to accept it, Even if it is ugly. I need courage to face the reality, and live a life no matter what.
As I go through these depressed state, a phrase came to my mind from one of my favorite animation artists, Hayao Miyazaki "Ikineba.", which means I have to live.
I am not sure about him, but I begun to understand his thought, and how actually Hayao Miyazaki is. He is deep and thinking about life much and much more than we expected.
I am miserable most of the time, but at least, I can appreciate these great artists who create works which describes his ideas and human nature.
At least, I wanna be the one who does that.
No matter how ugly the life is, I speak the rude truth with my words from my heart.
One of the most sad incident that I had, was when I met the store manage on that day. I was helping another female worker to throw her trash. I could see his face some resentment.
With Hikaru at Toyko, I talked with how man is attracted to women.
One of the strongest attraction is toward those who are below class.
Slaves or coworker.
I thought he had similar attraction toward the female worker.
I confronted the reality.
I wanted to think life full of goodness and joy, but it is not.
Life is full of human nature. It is not only beautiful but dark and real.
I am 23 years old and I have ignored 50 percent of life.
I denied to see it.
we are so complex. we have shadows.
I do not know who I am.
When I operate within certain system, following the routine and habits, I feel controlled, but I am actually not.
I just escape in the shelter from the reality of life, feeling I am OK.
I love stoics, but they are not as simple as it seems.
There are only limited resources about them. I idealize them.
They were not perfect. They also had human nature.
What to do with it, I am not sure about it. At least, I know that I have to live.
I think this is because I started to see deep animal nature of human beings, and dark sides.
I wanted to believe that life was full of hope, beauty and dream, but it was not so simple like Disney movies. I started to see life which I had ignored for a long time. It made me reject these parts of life.
However, I started to think that I need to accept it and live anyway. As Robert Greene says "Denying human nature will not change anything." I have to accept it, Even if it is ugly. I need courage to face the reality, and live a life no matter what.
As I go through these depressed state, a phrase came to my mind from one of my favorite animation artists, Hayao Miyazaki "Ikineba.", which means I have to live.
I am not sure about him, but I begun to understand his thought, and how actually Hayao Miyazaki is. He is deep and thinking about life much and much more than we expected.
I am miserable most of the time, but at least, I can appreciate these great artists who create works which describes his ideas and human nature.
At least, I wanna be the one who does that.
No matter how ugly the life is, I speak the rude truth with my words from my heart.
One of the most sad incident that I had, was when I met the store manage on that day. I was helping another female worker to throw her trash. I could see his face some resentment.
With Hikaru at Toyko, I talked with how man is attracted to women.
One of the strongest attraction is toward those who are below class.
Slaves or coworker.
I thought he had similar attraction toward the female worker.
I confronted the reality.
I wanted to think life full of goodness and joy, but it is not.
Life is full of human nature. It is not only beautiful but dark and real.
I am 23 years old and I have ignored 50 percent of life.
I denied to see it.
we are so complex. we have shadows.
I do not know who I am.
When I operate within certain system, following the routine and habits, I feel controlled, but I am actually not.
I just escape in the shelter from the reality of life, feeling I am OK.
I love stoics, but they are not as simple as it seems.
There are only limited resources about them. I idealize them.
They were not perfect. They also had human nature.
What to do with it, I am not sure about it. At least, I know that I have to live.
Beyond the Threshold
People and life are very interesting.
Only my brain, how I see the world matters.
I can choose this life to be the heaven and the hell.
Only my brain, how I see the world matters.
I can choose this life to be the heaven and the hell.
Gratitude and Favorite Quotes
I respect and thank great stoics for they taught me how to overcome obstacles and no matter the life's situation is, and human can CHOOSE to respond to any hard circumstances and adversities.
I respect Robert Greene because his love of humans and his great skill to observe others and put him into another human being from inside out, understanding human nature. I admire his skill and I would like to cultivate the skill by focusing more on others, what others want, not on myself, what I want from others.
I love creating video games together with other people because one of the greatest feeling I can derive cannot be obtained by myself. Putting other talents together and creating something new is really one of the greatest part of human nature. I experienced this feeling when I create video games together with other students.
I love being with my friends who I can open myself, and be myself.
I love my family. Even thought my family is not the perfect I wished. My family is only one to me. My father, my mother, my brother is only one for me. They have flows, human nature, and faults. There is no one perfect in the world. However, I cannot forget how much I appreciate them for being with my family, living together, sharing time together, raising me, giving love, thinking and worrying about me. I am here, breathing and writing this article because of them. I tend to be miserable, but I appreciate to be born in this family.
I appreciate great moments in life.
Usually, I do not try to create these moments, but it usually happens when I really enjoy livings. Going to karaoke with my friends, meeting old friends, traveling around the world and meeting new people and leaving them, encountering new and interesting insights and ideas of life.
I love films.
"a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time. and we shall be forced to with shame our opinion from another. "
"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by live-daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the hard I work the more I live, I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
I respect Robert Greene because his love of humans and his great skill to observe others and put him into another human being from inside out, understanding human nature. I admire his skill and I would like to cultivate the skill by focusing more on others, what others want, not on myself, what I want from others.
I love creating video games together with other people because one of the greatest feeling I can derive cannot be obtained by myself. Putting other talents together and creating something new is really one of the greatest part of human nature. I experienced this feeling when I create video games together with other students.
I love being with my friends who I can open myself, and be myself.
I love my family. Even thought my family is not the perfect I wished. My family is only one to me. My father, my mother, my brother is only one for me. They have flows, human nature, and faults. There is no one perfect in the world. However, I cannot forget how much I appreciate them for being with my family, living together, sharing time together, raising me, giving love, thinking and worrying about me. I am here, breathing and writing this article because of them. I tend to be miserable, but I appreciate to be born in this family.
I appreciate great moments in life.
Usually, I do not try to create these moments, but it usually happens when I really enjoy livings. Going to karaoke with my friends, meeting old friends, traveling around the world and meeting new people and leaving them, encountering new and interesting insights and ideas of life.
I love films.
"a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time. and we shall be forced to with shame our opinion from another. "
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here are very insightful words from great thinkers and life's teachers.
"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by live-daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the hard I work the more I live, I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
George Bernard Shaw
2019年9月15日日曜日
2019/09/14 Daily Journal
That day was my last day at Tokyo.
I woke up and went for Tokyo Game Show.
I met Hikaru there and another friend living in Tokyo, Yusuke.
I have not met Yusuke for a long time, so it was nice.
He had not changed, no actually he had changed.
He told me I had not changed too, no I think had changed, and my nature had not changed.
He too, he had not changed, but his nature had not changed.
I cannot hide myself. Everyone can see my nature.
We looked around TGS.
I could meet Kakeru, but I did not meet him. I think that was my mistake.
Actually, I did not enjoy these booths much.
I enjoyed the company of friends the more.
They might deceive me, and leave me for their own way. I know that.
However, at least, I can be their friends until they like to be with me.
This is the same for my crush. She can love another man anytime and any moment.
I have to accept that I cannot control other people.
However, I will never love one selfishly like I have done when I was a university student.
Love is an action to serve, unless I do not serve others, I do not feel to love one. Love starts from myself. Sacrificing myself for others.
By the way, I loved creating games. However, I did not like seeing Tokyo Game Show so much. I do not know why I think I feel money and business there.
I love games like undertale because it is not only getting money, but it expresses something the creator wanna to express like choice and friendships.
I need to know myself. What do I love, What do not I love to do? Who am I?
Anyway, after TGS, I went to karaoke with them, and we had a good time.
Yusuke and I had dinner together at a barbecue restaurant.
after that, I went back to my home town.
I woke up and went for Tokyo Game Show.
I met Hikaru there and another friend living in Tokyo, Yusuke.
I have not met Yusuke for a long time, so it was nice.
He had not changed, no actually he had changed.
He told me I had not changed too, no I think had changed, and my nature had not changed.
He too, he had not changed, but his nature had not changed.
I cannot hide myself. Everyone can see my nature.
We looked around TGS.
I could meet Kakeru, but I did not meet him. I think that was my mistake.
Actually, I did not enjoy these booths much.
I enjoyed the company of friends the more.
They might deceive me, and leave me for their own way. I know that.
However, at least, I can be their friends until they like to be with me.
This is the same for my crush. She can love another man anytime and any moment.
I have to accept that I cannot control other people.
However, I will never love one selfishly like I have done when I was a university student.
Love is an action to serve, unless I do not serve others, I do not feel to love one. Love starts from myself. Sacrificing myself for others.
By the way, I loved creating games. However, I did not like seeing Tokyo Game Show so much. I do not know why I think I feel money and business there.
I love games like undertale because it is not only getting money, but it expresses something the creator wanna to express like choice and friendships.
I need to know myself. What do I love, What do not I love to do? Who am I?
Anyway, after TGS, I went to karaoke with them, and we had a good time.
Yusuke and I had dinner together at a barbecue restaurant.
after that, I went back to my home town.
2019 09/13 Daily Journal
I took Shinkansen which is the fastest train in Japan for Tokyo to participate in Tokyo Game Show.
I met Hikaru one of my friends at school in front of Tokyo station , and look around Tokyo.
I went to Tsukigi, and eat seafood donburi.
It was great. I had a great time.
I constantly feel depressed about my life, but I have to appreciate these small great moments in life.
After that, I went to Ueno science museum.
I did not have enough time to spend there because I needed to go to Tokyo tower to meet one of my friends.
I left Hikaru and the museum to Tokyo tower to meet another friends, Kakeru.
We ate dinner together there, and headed for Akihabara.
Hekaru, Kakeru, and I went around some shops because Kakeru wanted some cards for a game he does.
The maids there were really cute, and I started to lose my reasons.
Wow, that place was really distracting for me, and I think I really need to make mission statement, so that I can be myself in the midst of hardship or emotional challenge. In these distractions, I started to feel lost of my reasons and myself. I feel somewhat strange. I feel like I would like to lose myself in the moment and I also think that I do not want to lose myself. It is a very complex feeling.
After looking around the shops, I see Kakeru off because he needed to go back to the hotel.
Hikaru and I went to a game arcade, and enjoyed Street Fight 4.
After saying goodbye to Hikaru, I needed to find a place to stay. I finally stayed at internet cafe. It had shower, drink bar, ice cream bar. It was really interesting.
I met Hikaru one of my friends at school in front of Tokyo station , and look around Tokyo.
I went to Tsukigi, and eat seafood donburi.
It was great. I had a great time.
I constantly feel depressed about my life, but I have to appreciate these small great moments in life.
After that, I went to Ueno science museum.
I did not have enough time to spend there because I needed to go to Tokyo tower to meet one of my friends.
I left Hikaru and the museum to Tokyo tower to meet another friends, Kakeru.
We ate dinner together there, and headed for Akihabara.
Hekaru, Kakeru, and I went around some shops because Kakeru wanted some cards for a game he does.
The maids there were really cute, and I started to lose my reasons.
Wow, that place was really distracting for me, and I think I really need to make mission statement, so that I can be myself in the midst of hardship or emotional challenge. In these distractions, I started to feel lost of my reasons and myself. I feel somewhat strange. I feel like I would like to lose myself in the moment and I also think that I do not want to lose myself. It is a very complex feeling.
After looking around the shops, I see Kakeru off because he needed to go back to the hotel.
Hikaru and I went to a game arcade, and enjoyed Street Fight 4.
After saying goodbye to Hikaru, I needed to find a place to stay. I finally stayed at internet cafe. It had shower, drink bar, ice cream bar. It was really interesting.
2019/09/12 Daily Journal
Hi.
Again, I could not upload the blog because I traveled to Tokyo from 9/13 to 9/14.
It was a great time there, and I would like to write about it in the future as soon as possible because I will forget it.
Actually I do not remember much about the day.
I did not do much. I went to swimming and I bought shinkansen ticket for Tokyo to go there.
I need to practice drawings....
Again, I could not upload the blog because I traveled to Tokyo from 9/13 to 9/14.
It was a great time there, and I would like to write about it in the future as soon as possible because I will forget it.
Actually I do not remember much about the day.
I did not do much. I went to swimming and I bought shinkansen ticket for Tokyo to go there.
I need to practice drawings....
2019年9月12日木曜日
2019 09/11 Daily Journal
What happened
I work part-time at MacDonald as usual, and it was a great time!!
I practiced making drinks and I was really nervous to communicate with the customer.
In life, I have to constantly confront things that I fear.
I need to confront the everything I fear to be fearless.
Do not escape from anything. Being disliked, making mistakes or being the worst in the room.
To be a great man, I need to put into the situation I fear.
Constantly challenge myself.
DO NOT THINK LIFE IS A EASY THING.
I work part-time at MacDonald as usual, and it was a great time!!
I practiced making drinks and I was really nervous to communicate with the customer.
In life, I have to constantly confront things that I fear.
I need to confront the everything I fear to be fearless.
Do not escape from anything. Being disliked, making mistakes or being the worst in the room.
To be a great man, I need to put into the situation I fear.
Constantly challenge myself.
DO NOT THINK LIFE IS A EASY THING.
2019/09/10 Daily Journal
What happened
This day was the last day of the game jam with students from Finland.
We finished other assets that we needed for the game, and completed the game.
In the end, our game was chosen by students to be a interesting game.
I was glad, but it is not my skill, but our team.
After that, we had a takoyaki party with students participated in the game jam.
I was so glad I participated in the game jam.
I could meet new friends. I could meet old friends.
I could think that life is not bad.
One of the greatest regrets is that I failed to say goodbye to students in Finland.
This day was the last day of the game jam with students from Finland.
We finished other assets that we needed for the game, and completed the game.
In the end, our game was chosen by students to be a interesting game.
I was glad, but it is not my skill, but our team.
After that, we had a takoyaki party with students participated in the game jam.
I was so glad I participated in the game jam.
I could meet new friends. I could meet old friends.
I could think that life is not bad.
One of the greatest regrets is that I failed to say goodbye to students in Finland.
2019/09/09 Daily Journal
On that day, I started to participate in a game jam at school.
In a game jam, we make a group and create a game together.
Some of students from Finland came to Japan, and we made a game together with them.
That was the first day.
On the day, our group decided the idea or plan for the game, and started to create the game.
One of team members was really good at making video games, so he carried us.
We followed his idea.
On that day, we finished most of the assets that we need.
We worked from 9:00 to 10:00 in the night.
I enjoyed talking with the international student and other students in our team.
I hope I could talk to other students from Finland there.
I have to admit that I was a little bit scared to talk with other students in Finland.
It was a great day.
In a game jam, we make a group and create a game together.
Some of students from Finland came to Japan, and we made a game together with them.
That was the first day.
On the day, our group decided the idea or plan for the game, and started to create the game.
One of team members was really good at making video games, so he carried us.
We followed his idea.
On that day, we finished most of the assets that we need.
We worked from 9:00 to 10:00 in the night.
I enjoyed talking with the international student and other students in our team.
I hope I could talk to other students from Finland there.
I have to admit that I was a little bit scared to talk with other students in Finland.
It was a great day.
2019/09/08 Daily Journal
What happened
I worked part-time.
After working part-time, we had a farewell party for our store manager at MacDonald that I work with.
We ate food and a big birthday cake for our store manager.
It was a great time to have fun and eat together with those who I work with.
After the party, we went for a Izakaya, and had some drink.
Actually, I had not had many relationships with people because I was not a type of person who go outside and meet many different people.
I started to change because I started to work part-time, and also do other activities at school like creating games in a team.
As I wrote this, my crush came to my mind, and I had some ideas of my next article, words can lie, but actions will not lie about the person.
These ideas combined suddenly, so let me state what it has came.
She is a person who likes to spend time with same friends, I have never saw her being new friends. I think she likes to feel controlled by doing the same thing over and over again.
She protects herself by not doing the action which is outside of her comfort zone if she does things outside of her usual action, she will be vulnerable to hurt or insecurities.
This tendency is not only for her, but for every human being. When we repeat and follow the daily routine, we tend to feel strong. However, put in a difficult or different situation. We feel very different as usual.
By the way, I had a good time at Izakaya.
I realized that I did not know how to talk with women, so conversation was not flowing, but I could learn new things, and I need to go out and put myself in such situations, so that I can learn and improve more.
I worked part-time.
After working part-time, we had a farewell party for our store manager at MacDonald that I work with.
We ate food and a big birthday cake for our store manager.
It was a great time to have fun and eat together with those who I work with.
After the party, we went for a Izakaya, and had some drink.
Actually, I had not had many relationships with people because I was not a type of person who go outside and meet many different people.
I started to change because I started to work part-time, and also do other activities at school like creating games in a team.
As I wrote this, my crush came to my mind, and I had some ideas of my next article, words can lie, but actions will not lie about the person.
These ideas combined suddenly, so let me state what it has came.
She is a person who likes to spend time with same friends, I have never saw her being new friends. I think she likes to feel controlled by doing the same thing over and over again.
She protects herself by not doing the action which is outside of her comfort zone if she does things outside of her usual action, she will be vulnerable to hurt or insecurities.
This tendency is not only for her, but for every human being. When we repeat and follow the daily routine, we tend to feel strong. However, put in a difficult or different situation. We feel very different as usual.
By the way, I had a good time at Izakaya.
I realized that I did not know how to talk with women, so conversation was not flowing, but I could learn new things, and I need to go out and put myself in such situations, so that I can learn and improve more.
2019/09/07 Daily Journal
Actually, I do not remember much about the day.
I remember I had a great time at part-time job.
These days, I do not keep how much I spend money, so I need to do that.
Umm There is not a lot to write about, because the idea went through my mind.
I remember I had a great time at part-time job.
These days, I do not keep how much I spend money, so I need to do that.
Umm There is not a lot to write about, because the idea went through my mind.
2019/09/06 Daily Journal
Hi..!
I was really busy these days, so I could not post articles.
HOWEVER, THERE WERE SO MUCH LEARNING IN THESE DAYS, SO I WILL WASTE VALUABLE EXPERIENCE IF I DO NO WRITE THEM DOWN.
On 2019 September 6th
I hang out with two of my friends from my university.
I had not met them for a year.
I went to Abeno Harukas, which is the tallest building in Japan.
I chatted with one of my friends about life and the next meeting.
After that, we met together the other friend and ate a lot of meal at a buffet restaurant at a beautiful hotel.
My friends seem that they did not change much on the surface,but they would had many experiences that they did not talk.
As I live life, I started to realize LIFE IS IN A CONSTANT CHANGE. Our feeling, thinking, ideas, the world, people, nature, body, everything is in a constant change.
In the book of The Way of The Superior Man, the author calls it feminine.
I cannot live against it, and blame the world about the change. This will only make me miserable, I have to live with it.
I have to surrender to the world.
Anyway, the food was great.
I had a great time!!
I cannot forget the experience.
The Flow of Seduction
This day, I experienced how being bold, and have no hesitation in seduction is very important.
Hayato, which is one of the friends I hang out with was a seducer at the day.
Even though he might not realize he is seducing.
I did not know where Abeno Harukas is and about the meal.
He prepared everything for us. That day's plan was very completed.
All I had to do was just be there and have fun.
The view from the building was really great, and I am very frustrating because I lost my reasons at that time a little. That is the power of seduction.
The experience of being seduced was quite nice, and I could learn a lot from that.
I think it comes from deep focus on others.
He thought about not what he want, but what we want.
He put efforts into entertaining others.
Remember seduction is an art.
・What will be obstacles to be a good seducer?
1.Self-observed: A man can focus on one thing at the moment.
A man can focus on his or her thought, their worry, anxiety, thinking. In the state, it is almost impossible to put focus on others because our mind is full of distraction for that.
A man can choose to focus on others, not what he wants from others, but what others want from him, their psychology, their body language, their tone of voice, what they want behind their mask.
One is inward, and the other is outward.
These are only two ways of approaching the life.
In seduction, we have to put all of our insecurity that we have aside and put intense focus on others.
Remember we can feel when others are paying individual attention or not. We can feel one is being him or herself or one is paying attention and communicate with one as an individual or one put us in a box, and communicate with one in such ways.
I think I should start a blog only about seduction because I love the concept.
It is a very difficult between giving myself to others and thinking about others.
I think I need to find who I am first, and focus on others.
As Steven, R Covey, put it, "Private Victory proceeds Public Victory."
2.Hesitation
That comes from self-observed part of us.
I tend to think in my head that
I am not saying this is bad!
It is very important to think and analyze using the mind, which is a great tool human beings have!!
However, it is a double-edged sword. It can make us fear everything and find problems in every situation.
That creates hesitation because there are doubts in mind.
In seduction, one who is being seduced want to feel that he/she is being led by others. Hesitation will break the flow. The one who is seduced will be thrown back to the reality in the moment they feel hesitation.
It is OK to make mistakes, huge mistakes, and you will.
However, do not act hesitantly, be bold.
28th Law of Power: Enter Action with Boldness
"Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity."
I think it is only a habit to be bold or timid.
It will be crucial to keep the flow in seduction.
Remember seduction is only a game like the life is like a game.
Do not take others seriously.
It is like playing a video game, and try to improve to be better.
To live is like a game. we are born in the world, and we need to play the game.
So,,,why don't we play the game, and enjoy it, improving our skill.
I was really busy these days, so I could not post articles.
HOWEVER, THERE WERE SO MUCH LEARNING IN THESE DAYS, SO I WILL WASTE VALUABLE EXPERIENCE IF I DO NO WRITE THEM DOWN.
On 2019 September 6th
I hang out with two of my friends from my university.
I had not met them for a year.
I went to Abeno Harukas, which is the tallest building in Japan.
I chatted with one of my friends about life and the next meeting.
After that, we met together the other friend and ate a lot of meal at a buffet restaurant at a beautiful hotel.
My friends seem that they did not change much on the surface,but they would had many experiences that they did not talk.
As I live life, I started to realize LIFE IS IN A CONSTANT CHANGE. Our feeling, thinking, ideas, the world, people, nature, body, everything is in a constant change.
In the book of The Way of The Superior Man, the author calls it feminine.
I cannot live against it, and blame the world about the change. This will only make me miserable, I have to live with it.
I have to surrender to the world.
Anyway, the food was great.
I had a great time!!
I cannot forget the experience.
The Flow of Seduction
This day, I experienced how being bold, and have no hesitation in seduction is very important.
Hayato, which is one of the friends I hang out with was a seducer at the day.
Even though he might not realize he is seducing.
I did not know where Abeno Harukas is and about the meal.
He prepared everything for us. That day's plan was very completed.
All I had to do was just be there and have fun.
The view from the building was really great, and I am very frustrating because I lost my reasons at that time a little. That is the power of seduction.
The experience of being seduced was quite nice, and I could learn a lot from that.
I think it comes from deep focus on others.
He thought about not what he want, but what we want.
He put efforts into entertaining others.
Remember seduction is an art.
・What will be obstacles to be a good seducer?
1.Self-observed: A man can focus on one thing at the moment.
A man can focus on his or her thought, their worry, anxiety, thinking. In the state, it is almost impossible to put focus on others because our mind is full of distraction for that.
A man can choose to focus on others, not what he wants from others, but what others want from him, their psychology, their body language, their tone of voice, what they want behind their mask.
One is inward, and the other is outward.
These are only two ways of approaching the life.
In seduction, we have to put all of our insecurity that we have aside and put intense focus on others.
Remember we can feel when others are paying individual attention or not. We can feel one is being him or herself or one is paying attention and communicate with one as an individual or one put us in a box, and communicate with one in such ways.
I think I should start a blog only about seduction because I love the concept.
It is a very difficult between giving myself to others and thinking about others.
I think I need to find who I am first, and focus on others.
As Steven, R Covey, put it, "Private Victory proceeds Public Victory."
2.Hesitation
That comes from self-observed part of us.
I tend to think in my head that
what do others think if I do this?
Am I boring?
What if I make a mistake!?!?
I am not saying this is bad!
It is very important to think and analyze using the mind, which is a great tool human beings have!!
However, it is a double-edged sword. It can make us fear everything and find problems in every situation.
That creates hesitation because there are doubts in mind.
In seduction, one who is being seduced want to feel that he/she is being led by others. Hesitation will break the flow. The one who is seduced will be thrown back to the reality in the moment they feel hesitation.
It is OK to make mistakes, huge mistakes, and you will.
However, do not act hesitantly, be bold.
28th Law of Power: Enter Action with Boldness
"Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity."
I think it is only a habit to be bold or timid.
It will be crucial to keep the flow in seduction.
Remember seduction is only a game like the life is like a game.
Do not take others seriously.
It is like playing a video game, and try to improve to be better.
To live is like a game. we are born in the world, and we need to play the game.
So,,,why don't we play the game, and enjoy it, improving our skill.
2019年9月7日土曜日
2019/09/05 Daily Journal
Hi.
I could not post a blog in two days in a row because I was really tired.
On September 4th, I worked part-time until 9:00 am, and yesterday, I went out with some of my friends from my university.
I feel my habits I tried to establish is bound to collapse, if I keep skipping doing it like that.
I need a certain strategy in life.
Even though I had a very busy time, I had a lot of realization, ideas and learning in the two days.
I do not want to throw this away, because not writing it down and learning from it.
Anyway, let's start from Daily Journal
What happened in that day.
I do not remember much, but I think it is very same as usual.
I woke up in the morning, and I felt still sick in that day, so I did not run outside or exercise. I did meditation, but I was almost half-asleep, so the session was useless.
I did meditation today, and it is really one of the most important activity to live.
To tame the most powerful but dangerous weapon human beings are given.
Learn to be bold.
I could not post a blog in two days in a row because I was really tired.
On September 4th, I worked part-time until 9:00 am, and yesterday, I went out with some of my friends from my university.
I feel my habits I tried to establish is bound to collapse, if I keep skipping doing it like that.
I need a certain strategy in life.
Even though I had a very busy time, I had a lot of realization, ideas and learning in the two days.
I do not want to throw this away, because not writing it down and learning from it.
Anyway, let's start from Daily Journal
What happened in that day.
I do not remember much, but I think it is very same as usual.
I woke up in the morning, and I felt still sick in that day, so I did not run outside or exercise. I did meditation, but I was almost half-asleep, so the session was useless.
I did meditation today, and it is really one of the most important activity to live.
To tame the most powerful but dangerous weapon human beings are given.
"The mind"
The mind does their own things over and over and over again.
Creating, associating, comparing, imagining, and so on.
This can be used to improve life, but sometimes it can destroy life.
In the past, this can be used to observe the surrounding, analyze, gather information,compare and analyze the information to find any other danger in life to survive.
To make the matter worse, we can not distinguish what it is and what is imagination.
We experience similar physical response in imagination and reality.
In addition, in imagination, we tend to make things much more serious than the reality.
As Seneca wrote,
"We suffer more from imagination than reality."
It is a way of protecting our own life, the more we avoid something dangerous, the more we tend to be alive.
However, if the mind goes too far, we fear and make so many problems around us that we cannot make any actions.
We will be trapped in imagination.
How can I avoid it?
I tend to use my mind much more than others.
Maybe others use their mind, and worry about it, but hide it because they do not want to let others see their insecurity.
I am searching the ways because I feel I am constantly in that state.
1.Immersed in reality
We tend to exaggerate problems or fear or confidence, grandiosity beyond the reality. It is when real problems enters. I should fear jumping from very high building because the feeling tells me that Okay, if you jump, you will be very in danger, Which is the truth. If I know about it, but I have no feeling, I might jump and die.
The problems occur when the fear is not based on reality.
For example, I have a crush in school, and I have been avoiding approaching her BECAUSE I fear being rejected.
My fear is so exaggerated that I will be dead if she rejects me. It is not based on reality.
Yeah, she is only one in life, and very precious.
I love her, but I can get over it. I know that I can.
However, I am so obsessed about her emotionally, which clouds my reason.
It is very unhealthy.
What will actually happen when I am rejected by her?
I maybe be hurt maybe for a very long time.
I maybe cry.
I maybe be good about that.
I do not know but I am sure that as the time passes, I get over it.
I can go out more and meet many women, so that I am more likely to fall in love again. It is another strategy.
As I realized by working part-time, actually I like women.
I might be fall in love easily. I am a that kind of person.
In the past, in the university, I am obsessed with another woman, and she was dating another man.
As I realized that, I was in love with another woman, so I did not feel so much emotion.
I think love is a disease which makes us blind.
It will go away with time.
Therefore, just admit I have a disease.
My strategy-Use the reason.
You will be OK even if you are rejected, and remember you will be rejected in the future.
Live in the present moment.
The moment will not come back again.
Learn to be bold.
I do not need to repress it. Just be a mad man. I think those who do not think much can be like one, and he will be hurt.
I tend to laugh about them...However, I should be ashamed of myself by repressing my emotion, not being myself.
Love her in the way I want to love.
Each of one has their own way to love.
For me, I would like to love from my strength.
sacrifice for her.
Being the best man in the universe for her.
Caring for her.
Thinking which makes her happy and pleasant.
Seduction is one of the most things I am interested in.
I need to admit it.
I want to love others emotionally plush rationally.
I actually do not know what I am saying right now.
I need a new article to rap this up.
To improve reasons, stoicism can be used and actually works really well, so I would like to keep practicing it.
2. Tame the mind.
The thoughts of Buddhism, mindful meditation and the idea of Taoism works for taming the mind.
Most of the suffering in life comes from the mind, and unnecessary desire or aversion. These masters realize a way of living which is less controlled by the mind.
I need to practice them.
2019年9月6日金曜日
First Step
I know about this because I am deeply in love with someone.
It is like a disease. I know she is a human being. I know she will be returned, as Epictetus said.
I become very alert and interested in her.
I started to think about who she is.
What is behind her mask? How actually she is feeling right now?
What is she thinking? Who is she?
I know the feeling will disappear.
Why I do feel this in her, and not in others.
I think it is because of my intensity of interest.
We tend to think inward what I want or how I feel.
However, when we are in love, we think about who in love.
How does he/she feel about me? or Who is actually he/she?
The intensity of interest is overwhelming!!
It is the same when we are interested in some subjects or activities.
When we are love or interested in curtain subjects or activities,
we learn faster because of intensity of interest, curiosity, and focus.
I am interested in and respect Robert Greene, so I want to learn very hard and listen to what he is saying very hard.
Some people might listen to his talk, and feel not interested in.
There is one reality, but the interpretation can be different.
Is it my control to be interested in something?
I need to think about that
For example, at school, learning history is as remembering facts or data.
If thinking differently, learning history is to know who I am and how our ancestors dealt with problems, and how humanity advanced or to learn about human nature.
It sounds more fascinating.
Do I only become interested in people when are in love or respect.
I do not have to wait to be in love, or I do not have to wait to meet someone who I respect.
Remember everything starts from us.
Each person in the world is a undiscovered country.
Each of us has shadows, repressed emotion, desire, history, paradigm.
Each of us will not be repeated again in life.
Only one in the world.
How often we forget and ignore how complex and interesting people are and the world is, and go for a simple conclusion.
Each of us has strength and weakness.
"In my walks, every man I meet is superior in some way, and in that I learn of him."
Not only I respect or admire, I can learn so much from others because they are different from me.
Be open to others, and learn and steal from their strength.
The more I focus outward, and my focus outside, about the world, people,
The more I can learn, improve and at last, live a interesting life.
"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."
-Epictetus, Discourses, BookⅡ, ch 17.
Being interested in is not enough.
After I am interested in something,
I HAVE TO ACT ON IT.
But to be interested in something is the first step.
It is like a disease. I know she is a human being. I know she will be returned, as Epictetus said.
I become very alert and interested in her.
I started to think about who she is.
What is behind her mask? How actually she is feeling right now?
What is she thinking? Who is she?
I know the feeling will disappear.
Why I do feel this in her, and not in others.
I think it is because of my intensity of interest.
We tend to think inward what I want or how I feel.
However, when we are in love, we think about who in love.
How does he/she feel about me? or Who is actually he/she?
The intensity of interest is overwhelming!!
It is the same when we are interested in some subjects or activities.
When we are love or interested in curtain subjects or activities,
we learn faster because of intensity of interest, curiosity, and focus.
I am interested in and respect Robert Greene, so I want to learn very hard and listen to what he is saying very hard.
Some people might listen to his talk, and feel not interested in.
There is one reality, but the interpretation can be different.
Is it my control to be interested in something?
I need to think about that
For example, at school, learning history is as remembering facts or data.
If thinking differently, learning history is to know who I am and how our ancestors dealt with problems, and how humanity advanced or to learn about human nature.
It sounds more fascinating.
Do I only become interested in people when are in love or respect.
I do not have to wait to be in love, or I do not have to wait to meet someone who I respect.
Remember everything starts from us.
Each person in the world is a undiscovered country.
Each of us has shadows, repressed emotion, desire, history, paradigm.
Each of us will not be repeated again in life.
Only one in the world.
How often we forget and ignore how complex and interesting people are and the world is, and go for a simple conclusion.
Each of us has strength and weakness.
"In my walks, every man I meet is superior in some way, and in that I learn of him."
Not only I respect or admire, I can learn so much from others because they are different from me.
Be open to others, and learn and steal from their strength.
The more I focus outward, and my focus outside, about the world, people,
The more I can learn, improve and at last, live a interesting life.
"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."
-Epictetus, Discourses, BookⅡ, ch 17.
Being interested in is not enough.
After I am interested in something,
I HAVE TO ACT ON IT.
But to be interested in something is the first step.
2019年9月4日水曜日
2019/09/04 Daily Journy
What happened
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning.
I was very tired and sick, so I did not run outside.
I went to school by train. I read Self-reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I got to school, and I practice animation.
However, I was really sick and tired, so I could not focus that much as usual.
I went back home after that.
I slept because I was sick.
I woke up, and watch videos on philosophy.
I realized that I could meet and become interested in philosophy because I learned English.
There are so many video or books on philosophy in English, but not Japanese.
I am very gratitude about that.
I did not even realize that.
I could meet these books and ideas because I learned English.
I would like to start gratitude journal in the morning because I have so many great things in life, but they are covered with regrets, wants, future,worries, fears, and thoughts.
I have to appreciate what happened in the past and what will happen in the future so that I can be in the present moment.
Story: On Love and Belonging
Love others as who he or she is. Even though they act in a way that you do not like. They do their own things. Each of us has a unique talent and capability to accomplish. You do not have to be involved in people who you do not belong or like.
However, never think you are above them, or you are different. YOU ARE JUST A HUMAN BEING. SAME AS OTHERS.
Where do I belong and who should I love?
I am not sure about that. I belong to humanity and I love other human beings. Yes, we are selfish and governed by self-interest, but we are one of the kind.
On the train, we meet thousands of people.
Someone operates the train, and we go to school or work.
How awesome it is.
I would like to learn more about human nature, its history, and its potential.
I am very glad I am a human being.
I feel full and relieved when I love another not for my own sake, but for him/her.
It is really great we are in this world, and meet them.
Each of us is unique and different and have different story and history.
Each of us is deep and complex.
What is more interesting than that?
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sandwich at seven eleven--- 260 yen
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning.
I was very tired and sick, so I did not run outside.
I went to school by train. I read Self-reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I got to school, and I practice animation.
However, I was really sick and tired, so I could not focus that much as usual.
I went back home after that.
I slept because I was sick.
I woke up, and watch videos on philosophy.
I realized that I could meet and become interested in philosophy because I learned English.
There are so many video or books on philosophy in English, but not Japanese.
I am very gratitude about that.
I did not even realize that.
I could meet these books and ideas because I learned English.
I would like to start gratitude journal in the morning because I have so many great things in life, but they are covered with regrets, wants, future,worries, fears, and thoughts.
I have to appreciate what happened in the past and what will happen in the future so that I can be in the present moment.
Story: On Love and Belonging
Love others as who he or she is. Even though they act in a way that you do not like. They do their own things. Each of us has a unique talent and capability to accomplish. You do not have to be involved in people who you do not belong or like.
However, never think you are above them, or you are different. YOU ARE JUST A HUMAN BEING. SAME AS OTHERS.
Where do I belong and who should I love?
I am not sure about that. I belong to humanity and I love other human beings. Yes, we are selfish and governed by self-interest, but we are one of the kind.
On the train, we meet thousands of people.
Someone operates the train, and we go to school or work.
How awesome it is.
I would like to learn more about human nature, its history, and its potential.
I am very glad I am a human being.
I feel full and relieved when I love another not for my own sake, but for him/her.
It is really great we are in this world, and meet them.
Each of us is unique and different and have different story and history.
Each of us is deep and complex.
What is more interesting than that?
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sandwich at seven eleven--- 260 yen
2019年9月3日火曜日
2019/09/03 Daily Journal
What happened
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning.
I run outside until 7:30.
I took shower, and headed for school.
What did I do in the train...
I need to listen to book and take notes, maybe to make a Youtube video about it.
I practiced animation.
I left school at 15:00.
In the train back home, I listened to The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene.
My respect for him went twofold because he practices what he preaches in his book.
I need to win through actions,not with words.
I really wanna be like him.
I would like to internalize his teaching.
However, the book is so dense with information that i need to practice little by little.
After arriving at home, I prepared for gym to swim.
I swam from 18:00 to 19:15 and took bath in gym.
I went back to home by bicycle, and ate dinner.
I brush my teeth, and now writing this blog.
Story: We cannot control most of what happens in our life. Never complain about whatever happens in life. It is fated to occur. Even if you were betrayed by your loved one, or left you for another man. Yes. You will be sure to be disappointed. You will feel a great pain by losing loved one. However, remember that every adversity or obstacle gives you great lesson now you can learn from. Love that.
Complaining or avoiding it will never be a wise choice.
Amor Fati
Remember you will be OK.
My crush seems to dislike me. She avoids taking eye contact with me. She avoids me.
Yeah, I have to admit that. I cannot control love.
There are so many elements like anima and animas.
I will start living my life again.
Never say of anything, "I have lost it"; but "I have returned." Is your child dead? It is returned. Is your wife dead? She is returned. Is your estate taken away? Well, and is not that likewise returned?"But he who took it away is a bad man." What difference is it to you who the giver assigns to take it back? While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don't view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel.
Enchiridion by Epictetus
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Bread
Rice ball
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning.
I run outside until 7:30.
I took shower, and headed for school.
What did I do in the train...
I need to listen to book and take notes, maybe to make a Youtube video about it.
I practiced animation.
I left school at 15:00.
In the train back home, I listened to The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene.
My respect for him went twofold because he practices what he preaches in his book.
I need to win through actions,not with words.
I really wanna be like him.
I would like to internalize his teaching.
However, the book is so dense with information that i need to practice little by little.
After arriving at home, I prepared for gym to swim.
I swam from 18:00 to 19:15 and took bath in gym.
I went back to home by bicycle, and ate dinner.
I brush my teeth, and now writing this blog.
Story: We cannot control most of what happens in our life. Never complain about whatever happens in life. It is fated to occur. Even if you were betrayed by your loved one, or left you for another man. Yes. You will be sure to be disappointed. You will feel a great pain by losing loved one. However, remember that every adversity or obstacle gives you great lesson now you can learn from. Love that.
Complaining or avoiding it will never be a wise choice.
Amor Fati
Remember you will be OK.
My crush seems to dislike me. She avoids taking eye contact with me. She avoids me.
Yeah, I have to admit that. I cannot control love.
There are so many elements like anima and animas.
I will start living my life again.
Never say of anything, "I have lost it"; but "I have returned." Is your child dead? It is returned. Is your wife dead? She is returned. Is your estate taken away? Well, and is not that likewise returned?"But he who took it away is a bad man." What difference is it to you who the giver assigns to take it back? While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don't view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel.
Enchiridion by Epictetus
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Bread
Rice ball
2019年9月2日月曜日
2019/09/02 Daily Journal
What I have done
Woke up, and meditation.
Run outside.
went to school.
go back to home.
Slept
Write blogs.
My hands were so itchy.
I need to sleep.
I would like to learn psychology and philosophy, and make it into a story or animation.
This is overall goal where I wanna go.
I will enjoy life along the way.
Woke up, and meditation.
Run outside.
went to school.
go back to home.
Slept
Write blogs.
My hands were so itchy.
I need to sleep.
I would like to learn psychology and philosophy, and make it into a story or animation.
This is overall goal where I wanna go.
I will enjoy life along the way.
2019/09/01 Daily Journal
Hi, yesterday I was busy yesterday, and I could not write this blog.
What happened
I got up around 7 AM, and I did meditation.
I did exercises.
I did not do much yesterday, but I had a great revaluation yesterday.
I had a huge quarrel with my mother. I have had a quarrel with my mother every time I talk with her. I did not know why this always happened. I always felt that I was not understood by her, and she always got upset.
Actually, I assumed that she is a deep narcissists which is written in a book,The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene.
The characteristic of deep narcissists is that they are so deep self-observed that they are not capable of thinking what others are thinking or feeling, which is a lack of empathy.
The reality was not as simple as what the book says.
I had been trying to understand her, but I could not.
My action and words just deepened her deep narcissistic tenancy.
I was exactly same as the example deep narcissists couple of Leo Tolstoy in the Chapter 2 of The Laws of Human Nature.
In the book, the author explains how each one in a relationship affects deep narcissistic tendency. If one try to understand the other, the other party might soften their resistance because he/she will feel understood.
I tried and tried. She said she never felt understood by me.
Then, why couldn't I understand her. Yes, it is a very difficult task, but I realized one thing that made it much and much more difficult.
Shadow
Shadow is a repressed character of a person.
She had a shadow, and I did not see it because it was repressed.
I think even she did not realize shadow was there, affecting her emotion strongly.
She was a really ambitious and independent person. She said she was like so from very young age. She wanted to be successful in her carrier and independent. However, the reality was very different from what she wanted. My bother and I was born, and both of us were very weak and easily got sick. She wanted to keep working, but quit her job, and she devoted her life for caring us. She scarified her carrier for children, but the result was that she had to give up her dream which she really wanted, ambition.
It became shadow side of her character, which she had to repress.
Now, she is trapped. She wanted to work but she has skin problems and feel powerless because she think she is old and does not have enough carrier to get a job.
These days, I was stressed out because of my worries and insecurities in my life. You know one writing a blog like this is not strong, and I have skin problems and other obstacles in life.
I was talking to her like this
"My life is very hard..."
As I write this, I am sad about myself.
I need to be stronger.
It is the worst word for my mother, who spend most of her time for children.
This words irritated her, and it seems that my lack of understanding of her shadow had made the relationship between us much more difficult.
As I look back my quarrel with her, there was a slight sign of her shadows.
But it was really subtle.
To really understand others, we need to look for their past and repressed shadow. To focus what is not there.
I have shadows that I try not to reveal to the world.
I am sure others have them too.
What they present in a daily life is persona.
I think some of novels or animes in Japan is very harmful because it tends to make characters sooo simple. It is like put a person into a box. Our psychology is much and much and much more complex than what I used to know.
I think I would like to make a story,by studying a deep psychology of human beings, which is not so simplified like other animes or novels.
so that
People I read or watch my story will realize deep human nature, and use it on their life.
Which will be a work. I really want to read or watch.
One thing I have to keep is to see the reality not illusion.
What do I need to learn?
Writing a story. I would like to write about a story on shadow
psychology
cinematography
Animation
Anime- which a heroine changes suddenly will be interesting.
What happened
I got up around 7 AM, and I did meditation.
I did exercises.
I did not do much yesterday, but I had a great revaluation yesterday.
I had a huge quarrel with my mother. I have had a quarrel with my mother every time I talk with her. I did not know why this always happened. I always felt that I was not understood by her, and she always got upset.
Actually, I assumed that she is a deep narcissists which is written in a book,The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene.
The characteristic of deep narcissists is that they are so deep self-observed that they are not capable of thinking what others are thinking or feeling, which is a lack of empathy.
The reality was not as simple as what the book says.
I had been trying to understand her, but I could not.
My action and words just deepened her deep narcissistic tenancy.
I was exactly same as the example deep narcissists couple of Leo Tolstoy in the Chapter 2 of The Laws of Human Nature.
In the book, the author explains how each one in a relationship affects deep narcissistic tendency. If one try to understand the other, the other party might soften their resistance because he/she will feel understood.
I tried and tried. She said she never felt understood by me.
Then, why couldn't I understand her. Yes, it is a very difficult task, but I realized one thing that made it much and much more difficult.
Shadow
Shadow is a repressed character of a person.
She had a shadow, and I did not see it because it was repressed.
I think even she did not realize shadow was there, affecting her emotion strongly.
She was a really ambitious and independent person. She said she was like so from very young age. She wanted to be successful in her carrier and independent. However, the reality was very different from what she wanted. My bother and I was born, and both of us were very weak and easily got sick. She wanted to keep working, but quit her job, and she devoted her life for caring us. She scarified her carrier for children, but the result was that she had to give up her dream which she really wanted, ambition.
It became shadow side of her character, which she had to repress.
Now, she is trapped. She wanted to work but she has skin problems and feel powerless because she think she is old and does not have enough carrier to get a job.
These days, I was stressed out because of my worries and insecurities in my life. You know one writing a blog like this is not strong, and I have skin problems and other obstacles in life.
I was talking to her like this
"My life is very hard..."
As I write this, I am sad about myself.
I need to be stronger.
It is the worst word for my mother, who spend most of her time for children.
This words irritated her, and it seems that my lack of understanding of her shadow had made the relationship between us much more difficult.
As I look back my quarrel with her, there was a slight sign of her shadows.
But it was really subtle.
To really understand others, we need to look for their past and repressed shadow. To focus what is not there.
I have shadows that I try not to reveal to the world.
I am sure others have them too.
What they present in a daily life is persona.
I think some of novels or animes in Japan is very harmful because it tends to make characters sooo simple. It is like put a person into a box. Our psychology is much and much and much more complex than what I used to know.
I think I would like to make a story,by studying a deep psychology of human beings, which is not so simplified like other animes or novels.
so that
People I read or watch my story will realize deep human nature, and use it on their life.
Which will be a work. I really want to read or watch.
One thing I have to keep is to see the reality not illusion.
What do I need to learn?
Writing a story. I would like to write about a story on shadow
psychology
cinematography
Animation
Anime- which a heroine changes suddenly will be interesting.
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