2019/09/05 Daily Journal

Hi.

I could not post a blog in two days in a row because I was really tired.
On September 4th, I worked part-time until 9:00 am, and yesterday, I went out with some of my friends from my university.

I feel my habits I tried to establish is bound to collapse, if I keep skipping doing it like that.

I need a certain strategy in life.

Even though I had a very busy time, I had a lot of realization, ideas and learning in the two days.

I do not want to throw this away, because not writing it down and learning from it.

Anyway, let's start from Daily Journal

What happened in that day.
I do not remember much, but I think it is very same as usual.
I woke up in the morning, and I felt still sick in that day, so I did not run outside or exercise. I did meditation, but I was almost half-asleep, so the session was useless.

I did meditation today, and it is really one of the most important activity to live. 

To tame the most powerful but dangerous weapon human beings are given.

"The mind" 

The mind does their own things over and over and over again.

Creating, associating, comparing, imagining, and so on.

This can be used to improve life, but sometimes it can destroy life. 

In the past, this can be used to observe the surrounding, analyze, gather information,compare and analyze the information to find any other danger in life to survive.

To make the matter worse, we can not distinguish what it is and what is imagination.

We experience similar physical response in imagination and reality.

In addition, in imagination, we tend to make things much more serious than the reality.

As Seneca wrote,

"We suffer more from imagination than reality." 

It is a way of protecting our own life, the more we avoid something dangerous, the more we tend to be alive.

However, if the mind goes too far, we fear and make so many problems around us that we cannot make any actions.

We will be trapped in imagination.

How can I avoid it?

I tend to use my mind much more than others.

Maybe others use their mind, and worry about it, but hide it because they do not want to let others see their insecurity.

I am searching the ways because I feel I am constantly in that state.

1.Immersed in reality

We tend to exaggerate problems or fear or confidence, grandiosity beyond the reality. It is when real problems enters. I should fear jumping from very high building because the feeling tells me that Okay, if you jump, you will be very in danger, Which is the truth. If I know about it, but I have no feeling, I might jump and die.

The problems occur when the fear is not based on reality.

For example, I have a crush in school, and I have been avoiding approaching her BECAUSE I fear being rejected. 

My fear is so exaggerated that I will be dead if she rejects me. It is not based on reality. 

Yeah, she is only one in life, and very precious.

I love her,  but I can get over it. I know that I can.

However, I am so obsessed about her emotionally, which clouds my reason.

It is very unhealthy.

What will actually happen when I am rejected by her?

I maybe be hurt maybe for a very long time.

I maybe cry.

I maybe be good about that.

I do not know but I am sure that as the time passes, I get over it.

I can go out more and meet many women, so that I am more likely to fall in love again. It is another strategy.

As I realized by working part-time, actually I like women.

I might be fall in love easily. I am a that kind of person.

In the past, in the university, I am obsessed with another woman, and she was dating another man.

As I realized that, I was in love with another woman, so I did not feel so much emotion.

I think love is a disease which makes us blind. 

It will go away with time.

Therefore, just admit I have a disease.

My strategy-Use the reason.

You will be OK even if you are rejected, and remember you will be rejected in the future.

Live in the present moment.

The moment will not come back again.

Learn to be bold. 

I do not need to repress it. Just be a mad man. I think those who do not think much can be like one, and he will be hurt. 

I tend to laugh about them...However, I should be ashamed of myself by repressing my emotion, not being myself.

Love her in the way I want to love.

Each of one has their own way to love.

For me, I would like to love from my strength.

sacrifice for her.

Being the best man in the universe for her.

Caring for her.

Thinking which makes her happy and pleasant.

Seduction is one of the most things I am interested in.

I need to admit it.

I want to love others emotionally plush rationally.

I actually do not know what I am saying right now.

I need a new article to rap this up.

To improve reasons, stoicism can be used and actually works really well, so I would like to keep practicing it.

2. Tame the mind.

The thoughts of Buddhism, mindful meditation and the idea of Taoism works for taming the mind. 

Most of the suffering in life comes from the mind, and unnecessary desire or aversion. These masters realize a way of living which is less controlled by the mind.

I need to practice them.