Hello, I am Tsuyoshi.
I could not post this blog for 3 days. I am sorry about that.
My part-time job had begun and I also worked part-time yesterday.
ummm.... I do not remember what I have done on 22th and 23th.
I think I stayed at home all day in 22th and I wrote my first mission statement draft. It is not complete. I need to keep working on it.
on 23th
I had my second day at work at McDonald. I work as a stocker who prepare meet or vegetables for meal we serve. It is a little bit dangerous, I actually I got my hand a little bit burned, and actually it would leave some mark on my skin. It is a little bit sad and I wanted to my hand clean and beautiful, but my body is not things that I can control so I do not care about it so much, and try hard to change my action that I will got less burned in the future. I was taught by two female workers there. It was a good time, and I could learn a lot.
on 24th
It was my third day at work. I started to work as an assembler who makes burgers, using ingredients that stockers prepared.
Okay, I would like to set a goal in my part-time work life because I think it is not interesting just to work and get money. I want more life experiences in this precious experience that I have.
1.One of my goals is to be one of the best worker at McDonald. First, there are some criteria that the company set for a good worker like speed of making burgers or stocking. I first complete all of these things. After that I would like to fully understand how the business works and anticipate what works and what does not.
Maybe, I can learn what I learned for my future business.
2.The second goal is to know people. Every person has their own paradigm and ideas. I analyze people there like a game, and try to understand their way of seeing the world and human nature, learning about people.
OK, I had strong emotional reaction yesterday night. As I thought about my crush, I felt very sad and lonely because I have not meet her for one month. I think fall in love is a disease that makes people irrational. I know she is not in our control, but she sticks to my mind so strongly that I cannot stop thinking about her. I think it was loneliness I left. I think it is also because I did not do masturbation for a long time that I felt my sexual libido increased.
2019年3月25日月曜日
2019年3月21日木曜日
Daily Emotional Journal, March 20th
Today, I had a lot of experiences today.
I first worked part-time job.
I went to BBQ with some of my friends in class.
Part-time job
I worded at McDonald from 9:00 to 14:00. First, I watched some videos about how to do and I work as a trainee. I became a complete beginner, and it was not a bad feeling. I met great people there. Every man is superior in some way, so I learned from them.
I think it is a good idea to make notes of people I meet and keep their information, so that I can more like to remember their name, and know about people, human nature.
I went to BBQ with some of my friends in class, and ate a lot. It was a great time.
After that, I played a video game outside, and it was a great mistake because I caught cold for that, but it was a good time.
I think one of the most important point to keep in my mind to spend happy time when I am with others is to be as present as possible, and enjoy the time together as if it is the last time to be with them.
reflection and emotion
As I was running in the morning, I was barked by a dog, and at the moment my body automatically jumped away of the dog. I was a automatic reaction that my body performed. There was no way that my rational mind to do something. In my part-time job, I touched cook gear very hot, and my finger automatically moved away from it. I think reflection and emotion is similar. It is an ancient tool for survival. Emotion like fear, sexual attraction toward opposite sex, anger, sadness, is necessary to live in the world. When someone attacks you, it is difficult for you not to feel fear. However, we can control what is going to do with the emotion. Some of emotion, which mind creates is not necessary like desire toward riches, need for opposite sex. It can be removed by affecting my desire
2019 3/21
I caught cold, and I was sleeping all day. Watching videos on philosophy.
Tomorrow, I would like to make a mission statement. I think just watching and knowing about philosophy is not enough. I need to make my own laws to follow and live according to the laws.
I first worked part-time job.
I went to BBQ with some of my friends in class.
Part-time job
I worded at McDonald from 9:00 to 14:00. First, I watched some videos about how to do and I work as a trainee. I became a complete beginner, and it was not a bad feeling. I met great people there. Every man is superior in some way, so I learned from them.
I think it is a good idea to make notes of people I meet and keep their information, so that I can more like to remember their name, and know about people, human nature.
I went to BBQ with some of my friends in class, and ate a lot. It was a great time.
After that, I played a video game outside, and it was a great mistake because I caught cold for that, but it was a good time.
I think one of the most important point to keep in my mind to spend happy time when I am with others is to be as present as possible, and enjoy the time together as if it is the last time to be with them.
reflection and emotion
As I was running in the morning, I was barked by a dog, and at the moment my body automatically jumped away of the dog. I was a automatic reaction that my body performed. There was no way that my rational mind to do something. In my part-time job, I touched cook gear very hot, and my finger automatically moved away from it. I think reflection and emotion is similar. It is an ancient tool for survival. Emotion like fear, sexual attraction toward opposite sex, anger, sadness, is necessary to live in the world. When someone attacks you, it is difficult for you not to feel fear. However, we can control what is going to do with the emotion. Some of emotion, which mind creates is not necessary like desire toward riches, need for opposite sex. It can be removed by affecting my desire
2019 3/21
I caught cold, and I was sleeping all day. Watching videos on philosophy.
Tomorrow, I would like to make a mission statement. I think just watching and knowing about philosophy is not enough. I need to make my own laws to follow and live according to the laws.
2019年3月19日火曜日
March 18th: Dairy Diary
On the day, I watched videos on philosophy in the morning, and I went to art school until night. I think that I should take notes when I study philosophy, and try to understand what I learned and use it in my life. Just watching is not enough. I would love to meet someone who teach me philosophy, how I should form a clear opinion.
OK again, I had similar emotional reaction as usual
I went to art school, and one of the teacher was a woman with beautiful long straight hair and beautiful legs and styles. OK as you know, just this sight pushed the button. I realized that what I was attracted to was not all about face, but overall impression. I think each of men has weakness. I am weak against beautiful hair, voice and faces. The movement is also important. Oh, this world is full of emotional distractions.
In Dating Playbook for Men, the author writes
"Men feel attraction toward women like light switch as soon as he look at her. Women feel attraction like volume knob gradually, seeing his character."
I always think it is very difficult for me to deal with women, but the idea of stoicism can be used to deal with them. Yes, all men would feel attraction, but I think I can reduce unnecessary emotional reaction by reasons.
By the way, I think weather I should write about my philosophical ideas on this blog not not because Epictetus says
""
I think I should write these in my journal, and write them in this blog. When I think it is time.
I would like to write about my emotional reaction, and what I read and summary of it. However, I will write about it after understanding them thoroughly and internalized them.
I would like to follow Epictetus's instruction, and I do not write about my philosophical ideas, but demonstrate it by action in real life.
OK again, I had similar emotional reaction as usual
I went to art school, and one of the teacher was a woman with beautiful long straight hair and beautiful legs and styles. OK as you know, just this sight pushed the button. I realized that what I was attracted to was not all about face, but overall impression. I think each of men has weakness. I am weak against beautiful hair, voice and faces. The movement is also important. Oh, this world is full of emotional distractions.
In Dating Playbook for Men, the author writes
"Men feel attraction toward women like light switch as soon as he look at her. Women feel attraction like volume knob gradually, seeing his character."
I always think it is very difficult for me to deal with women, but the idea of stoicism can be used to deal with them. Yes, all men would feel attraction, but I think I can reduce unnecessary emotional reaction by reasons.
By the way, I think weather I should write about my philosophical ideas on this blog not not because Epictetus says
""
I think I should write these in my journal, and write them in this blog. When I think it is time.
I would like to write about my emotional reaction, and what I read and summary of it. However, I will write about it after understanding them thoroughly and internalized them.
I would like to follow Epictetus's instruction, and I do not write about my philosophical ideas, but demonstrate it by action in real life.
March 17: Daily Diary
Today, I would like to upload 2 dairy diary because I did not upload them yesterday.
On March 17th, actually I did not do much. I did not go to art school. I think I stayed at home all day. I was watching videos on Stoicism and philosophy. Leaning about philosophy is hard but very interesting. I am learning it by myself, by reading and watching videos. Should I go to some school or not? I think I need a mentor.
I am not sure it is a good thing for me to do. It was on Sunday, so a lot of people would go out, and might be on a date, watching movies and so on. However, I think learning about philosophy and history, and much more worth than these things. Yes, these activities would be pleasurable, but these pleasures comes from outside, friend, lover, movie, in other words, they are not in my control. Then, I rather spend my time learning new ideas, knowledge, which is in our control. I am not saying these are not necessary. They are very important, but not essential.
Actually, I do not remember any emotional reaction on the day. I think this is because I stayed at home, and watching videos on Stoicism.
2019年3月17日日曜日
Be a Philosopher
I am really being into ancient philosophy like Aristotle, Stoicism, and so on. These people are those who seeks one of the most important questions like what is happiness? or how human beings should live on the earth, and thousands of other subjects because these are things that matter the most I think. I think No one wants to be miserable, useless. We just want to be happy, and have a good life.
Then, what is good and happy life? These are questions ancient philosophers sought with REASON.
Aristotle thinks that one of the unique feature human beings have is power of reason, and good life for human beings is life aligned with reasons, rational living.
This idea convinces me, and I think I would like to live life rationally.
I would like to write about other human's feature in another article.
I read a lot of books to improve my life, but as I bump into Aristotle's idea. I started to question myself. Am I really rational? Do I use my power of reasons or just blindly consume and believe in ideas from books because these books are popular or they are written by famous?
What I was doing was to read books related to what is lacking in my life to improve myself and act up on the ideas of books to change the situation. The important part is missing, I did not use my power to REASON so much. I did not think about books' idea critically, and divide what to use and what not to believe. I think the process is really important because it helps me to practice my reasons.
I realized that I need to learn how to be a philosopher and use my power of reasons.
For example, when I study Enchiridion by Epictetus, I SHOULD NOT BLANDLY believe what he is saying but I have to think critically how he reached the conclusion. I have to decide myself how to apply these ideas into my life.
I learned by learning these philosophy that ancient philosophy, and being a philosopher is a way of living just reasoning is not enough, you have to live according to our reasons.
Actually, I am sorry that my writing is not organized, because this subject is really new and I do not have enough knowledge, but I am sure that I want to learn philosophy, so I just jotted down my thoughts.
thank you for reading.
Then, what is good and happy life? These are questions ancient philosophers sought with REASON.
Aristotle thinks that one of the unique feature human beings have is power of reason, and good life for human beings is life aligned with reasons, rational living.
This idea convinces me, and I think I would like to live life rationally.
I would like to write about other human's feature in another article.
I read a lot of books to improve my life, but as I bump into Aristotle's idea. I started to question myself. Am I really rational? Do I use my power of reasons or just blindly consume and believe in ideas from books because these books are popular or they are written by famous?
What I was doing was to read books related to what is lacking in my life to improve myself and act up on the ideas of books to change the situation. The important part is missing, I did not use my power to REASON so much. I did not think about books' idea critically, and divide what to use and what not to believe. I think the process is really important because it helps me to practice my reasons.
I realized that I need to learn how to be a philosopher and use my power of reasons.
For example, when I study Enchiridion by Epictetus, I SHOULD NOT BLANDLY believe what he is saying but I have to think critically how he reached the conclusion. I have to decide myself how to apply these ideas into my life.
I learned by learning these philosophy that ancient philosophy, and being a philosopher is a way of living just reasoning is not enough, you have to live according to our reasons.
Actually, I am sorry that my writing is not organized, because this subject is really new and I do not have enough knowledge, but I am sure that I want to learn philosophy, so I just jotted down my thoughts.
thank you for reading.
Daily Diary March 16th
Hello! I think I should have written this article yesterday, when is the day my emotion aroused, but I played a video game with one of my friends, and did not have time to do so. (It is an excuse. I should have make time to do it.)
Yesterday, I woke up around 10 am, and went to cafe close to my house to study the Laws of Human Nature. I chatted with one of my friends who really wants me to buy splatoon 2 and play with me, and finally I bought it, believing it to be a right choice. I played it with him yesterday. It was fun to play it with him, but... I thought it was more interesting to read and study about something like stoicism and philosophy. I could know more about myself. Maybe I would enjoy the game more, by changing my attitude toward it.
Anyway, I thought I did not feel very strong emotional reaction yesterday.
I think about the reason.
1. I did not do activities or experience things that arise emotional reaction.
2. I was so into my self-talk or thinking mind that I could not observe and analyze stimulation and emotional reaction toward them.
I think both of them are right, but the second reason is stronger.
When I be or play with others in yesterday's case, with a friend, it is difficult to see the situation objectively. I tend to lose my objective analysis about the situation, an just act as I like to do, which is not rational at all. When I am relaxed and by myself, I feel really clam and my thinking is really clear and alert. The feeling is very similar when I meditate or focus on one task at hand. I can not deny that I was in distracted state, I lost my attention to my emotion yesterday. I think daily meditation practice and application of it might help calm mind mind to calm every situation like party, being with others, interacting with others, and think rationally and act rationally every moment.
I also think the first reason is also important.
To feel a emotion, we need a stimulation to feel it. However, if there are no simulations to feel it, we will not feel a emotion! Yes, we can think or imagine to feel it, but I try to stop thinking about something too much because it it will lead to identification with my thinking mind, see my article on emotion.
However, there are some emotions I experienced yesterday I felt, so I would like to write about them.
When I talked with the friends whether I should have bought the game or not. The both side expressed their position.
My position: I am recently into reading books, and I feel less motivation to do things like playing video games.
His position: I really want to play with you now!!
I felt he is full of emotion, desire to play the game with me. Once we expressed both position, and could clearly see the situation.
He told me that I do not have to play so hard the game.
and
I know that once a desire is satisfied, he will not think about the game so much that I will have more time to study and read.
Therefore, I have decided to buy it and play with him.
What happened the moment is what happens when both parties understand the both position.
When I felt by stating my position that I am not so much into playing video games, and he knows about it. I felt understood and less defensive toward others. Also, by stating his position, that he have a strong desire, and he really wants to play it now. I guess he felt he felt understood and less defensive toward new possibility. At that time, I think I could choose not to buy the game at the moment, and he would agree about it because we both understand our position. I think I unconsciously put habit 4,5,6 of 7 habits of highly effective people into practice.
I am not sure it is a emotion but I think it is a interesting experience to actually face how theses principles and habits work.
Emotional Reaction: Feeling of being Understood TYPE:RELATIONSHIP
When I felt understood by someone, I feel less defensive toward other people's influences.
People tend to express their own position and opinion, and they will think others do not understand when they do not agree with you or influenced by you. Instead, try to understand their position why they are defensive and what they are feeling.
Put both positions on the table, make sure that you understand another, and he understand you. It will make communication much more open because feeling of understood make people less defensive. Then, find the best solution which is win for you and the other person. That is essence of Win-Win.
Yesterday, I talked with the friend about my crush at school, and as I talk about her, and it actually reminded me of memories of her like the first time we talked together. I started to miss her voice, laugh, smile everything about her.
Emotional Reaction: Feeling of missing someone
Trigger is thinking about our talking about someone in my case. I searched online one misses their loved one when
・When one lives far away
・When one sleeps by oneself
・When one makes a mistake at work or school
・When one see couples
・Christmas and Valentine
・When one is alone in one's room
・When one sees couples in SNS
・When one is sick.
・When one went to a wedding ceremony.
・Winter
These buttons connect people's memories or experiences with the present moment and make a comparison in mind. It makes them want to repeat the same pleasurable feeling again and again.
Remember it is just an emotion not you. The brain is doing it. Being aware of these emotions helps me understand how emotions affect and govern our actions.
And trust your reasons instead of emotions to really do the right things at the moment.
Thank you for reading.
Yesterday, I woke up around 10 am, and went to cafe close to my house to study the Laws of Human Nature. I chatted with one of my friends who really wants me to buy splatoon 2 and play with me, and finally I bought it, believing it to be a right choice. I played it with him yesterday. It was fun to play it with him, but... I thought it was more interesting to read and study about something like stoicism and philosophy. I could know more about myself. Maybe I would enjoy the game more, by changing my attitude toward it.
Anyway, I thought I did not feel very strong emotional reaction yesterday.
I think about the reason.
1. I did not do activities or experience things that arise emotional reaction.
2. I was so into my self-talk or thinking mind that I could not observe and analyze stimulation and emotional reaction toward them.
I think both of them are right, but the second reason is stronger.
When I be or play with others in yesterday's case, with a friend, it is difficult to see the situation objectively. I tend to lose my objective analysis about the situation, an just act as I like to do, which is not rational at all. When I am relaxed and by myself, I feel really clam and my thinking is really clear and alert. The feeling is very similar when I meditate or focus on one task at hand. I can not deny that I was in distracted state, I lost my attention to my emotion yesterday. I think daily meditation practice and application of it might help calm mind mind to calm every situation like party, being with others, interacting with others, and think rationally and act rationally every moment.
I also think the first reason is also important.
To feel a emotion, we need a stimulation to feel it. However, if there are no simulations to feel it, we will not feel a emotion! Yes, we can think or imagine to feel it, but I try to stop thinking about something too much because it it will lead to identification with my thinking mind, see my article on emotion.
However, there are some emotions I experienced yesterday I felt, so I would like to write about them.
When I talked with the friends whether I should have bought the game or not. The both side expressed their position.
My position: I am recently into reading books, and I feel less motivation to do things like playing video games.
His position: I really want to play with you now!!
I felt he is full of emotion, desire to play the game with me. Once we expressed both position, and could clearly see the situation.
He told me that I do not have to play so hard the game.
and
I know that once a desire is satisfied, he will not think about the game so much that I will have more time to study and read.
Therefore, I have decided to buy it and play with him.
What happened the moment is what happens when both parties understand the both position.
When I felt by stating my position that I am not so much into playing video games, and he knows about it. I felt understood and less defensive toward others. Also, by stating his position, that he have a strong desire, and he really wants to play it now. I guess he felt he felt understood and less defensive toward new possibility. At that time, I think I could choose not to buy the game at the moment, and he would agree about it because we both understand our position. I think I unconsciously put habit 4,5,6 of 7 habits of highly effective people into practice.
I am not sure it is a emotion but I think it is a interesting experience to actually face how theses principles and habits work.
Emotional Reaction: Feeling of being Understood TYPE:RELATIONSHIP
When I felt understood by someone, I feel less defensive toward other people's influences.
People tend to express their own position and opinion, and they will think others do not understand when they do not agree with you or influenced by you. Instead, try to understand their position why they are defensive and what they are feeling.
Put both positions on the table, make sure that you understand another, and he understand you. It will make communication much more open because feeling of understood make people less defensive. Then, find the best solution which is win for you and the other person. That is essence of Win-Win.
Yesterday, I talked with the friend about my crush at school, and as I talk about her, and it actually reminded me of memories of her like the first time we talked together. I started to miss her voice, laugh, smile everything about her.
Emotional Reaction: Feeling of missing someone
Trigger is thinking about our talking about someone in my case. I searched online one misses their loved one when
・When one lives far away
・When one sleeps by oneself
・When one makes a mistake at work or school
・When one see couples
・Christmas and Valentine
・When one is alone in one's room
・When one sees couples in SNS
・When one is sick.
・When one went to a wedding ceremony.
・Winter
These buttons connect people's memories or experiences with the present moment and make a comparison in mind. It makes them want to repeat the same pleasurable feeling again and again.
Remember it is just an emotion not you. The brain is doing it. Being aware of these emotions helps me understand how emotions affect and govern our actions.
And trust your reasons instead of emotions to really do the right things at the moment.
Thank you for reading.
2019年3月16日土曜日
2019 March 15th
Hi. I woke up late maybe around 12:00, and took shower, and practiced drawing at art school from 3 to 9 PM, got to home, and I made my mother upset because I didn’t not eat dinner she prepared for me quickly because I was on the phone with one of my friends online, and could not eat it. Sorry about that. I didn’t want to make her mad.
Anyway, I didn’t do much, but I had some realization, so I would like to write about my idea and some emotional reactions.
First, let’s observe my emotional reaction.
I have a friend that I have never met. I met him online maybe 7 years ago when I was a high school student. I didn’t have friends then, so I escaped in the online world, and I was broadcasting, playing games. He was a listener in my broadcasting.
Okay. We still play games together, and he wants me to buy splatoon 2 and actually he pushes so hard to me to buy. I can feel he really want to play, but he pushes me to buy it so hard that I felt a little bit strange and aquward. I felt defensive to buy it. Is he really thinking about me? Or just thinking about himself. I felt confused. He persuades me so strongly. “I really want to play with you.” “Please buy it!”
I don’t that I don’t want to play it with him, but I want to use money to buy it BACAUSE I want to buy it not BACAUSE I am persuaded to buy.
Actually, his strategy to push is really useful for women because they will feel that they are needed and loved.
Anyway, being rational, I don’t think it is good to buy it now, but he pushes so hard that i feel pull to buy it.
Emotional Reaction:Defensiveness
When I am persuaded to do, buy something or change one’s mind so hard, I feel defensive to that idea.
However, by pushing so hard, one can make others feel guilty denying some many times, feel less defensive. I think there is a name for this phycology.
Why seduction is usefull in changing others’ mind is because it makes others think they are acting on their own will by working indirectly and subtle.
I was looking at the friend playing LOL, League of Legend,which is an online strategy game. Then, I could find that he makes some mistakes in his playing even though he is a better player than me. I was just watching him play, so maybe I have more objective perspective. I started to feel superior and analyze the situation and give advice to him. I think it made him inferior and defensive. I realized I should remind myself, beginners mind and I know nothing constantly.
Superiority
When I think or feel I am better than someone, I feel superior, more confident and power, free to express one’s opinion.
This might seems good, but remember when you feel superior, you tend to make others feel inferior and defensive, especially those who are insecure. Then, I have to be careful about it. Be neutral, don’t make others insecure.
Next Wednesday, I am going to work part time at McDonald’s, but I got chap on my point of a left finger. I try to cure it so hard, but it might not be cured. I cannot work there if I have bleeding some part of my body or using glove. So I have to tell the manager about it, but I feel something inside and feel difficult to contact him. It is very difficult to explain it in words. However, it is sure that this emotion is trying to tell me something. I feel guilt because I maybe not able to work on the day, braking a promise, or I feel dangerous because this might cause some relationship problem in my life.
Emotional reaction: insecurity TYPE:relationship
When a relationship might have a problem because of some event or cause, breaking a promise, in this case, I may not be able to work on the day, I feel insecure or defensive about it.
I think ti build a good relationship is one of the most important aspect to survive in the old age, so this emotion tells me to be careful about the relationship.
In Macdonald, I saw two little boys and two little girls were chatting. One of the girls was really cute and beautiful. It seems that the girl likes one of the boys. I could tell it from her body language. I felt several complicated feelings at the time.
1. Attraction to opposite sex
As usual, I am weak to women.
2. Envy
I felt envy toward the boy desired because it is not what I have in my life.
3.inferiority
I feel nervous when I talk to women I like because I know now that my body reminds me that she is attractive with chemicals in the brain. There is nothing wrong about it. However, he seems that he converse with them comfidently. He has a quality that I don’t. I think it made me feel inferior to him.
Hoooo.
There are so many emotion I feel to live in the world. Emotion is a gift from our ancestors but how strong the effect of emotion is. How can I tame it? There are some thips from the Laws of the Human Nature and mindfull meditation practice and so on. There were some ways to tame it. I wrote about it the article on emotion. Yesterday, I bumped into a philosophy that might be a help to get out of emotional drama in my life.
Stoicism
The idea of stoicism is that people who cultivated virtue and self-control in self, bring positive change in others.
As I study about it, I start to realize every influencial book like 7 habits of highly effective people, the Laws of Human Nature and so on, I have read is connected to the idea of stoicsm. By puting myself on an objective perspective, and focusing on reasons and natural laws that governs what happens in the world, not our emotion, we can not be governed by the emotional drama.
I have so many things to learn about Stoicism, but I think I really want to learn about it. I do not only read about it, but INTERNALIZE it as a way of living, and act upon it. From now on, I sometimes would like to study about stoicism on this blog not only about controlling my emotions.
Anyway, I didn’t do much, but I had some realization, so I would like to write about my idea and some emotional reactions.
First, let’s observe my emotional reaction.
I have a friend that I have never met. I met him online maybe 7 years ago when I was a high school student. I didn’t have friends then, so I escaped in the online world, and I was broadcasting, playing games. He was a listener in my broadcasting.
Okay. We still play games together, and he wants me to buy splatoon 2 and actually he pushes so hard to me to buy. I can feel he really want to play, but he pushes me to buy it so hard that I felt a little bit strange and aquward. I felt defensive to buy it. Is he really thinking about me? Or just thinking about himself. I felt confused. He persuades me so strongly. “I really want to play with you.” “Please buy it!”
I don’t that I don’t want to play it with him, but I want to use money to buy it BACAUSE I want to buy it not BACAUSE I am persuaded to buy.
Actually, his strategy to push is really useful for women because they will feel that they are needed and loved.
Anyway, being rational, I don’t think it is good to buy it now, but he pushes so hard that i feel pull to buy it.
Emotional Reaction:Defensiveness
When I am persuaded to do, buy something or change one’s mind so hard, I feel defensive to that idea.
However, by pushing so hard, one can make others feel guilty denying some many times, feel less defensive. I think there is a name for this phycology.
Why seduction is usefull in changing others’ mind is because it makes others think they are acting on their own will by working indirectly and subtle.
I was looking at the friend playing LOL, League of Legend,which is an online strategy game. Then, I could find that he makes some mistakes in his playing even though he is a better player than me. I was just watching him play, so maybe I have more objective perspective. I started to feel superior and analyze the situation and give advice to him. I think it made him inferior and defensive. I realized I should remind myself, beginners mind and I know nothing constantly.
Superiority
When I think or feel I am better than someone, I feel superior, more confident and power, free to express one’s opinion.
This might seems good, but remember when you feel superior, you tend to make others feel inferior and defensive, especially those who are insecure. Then, I have to be careful about it. Be neutral, don’t make others insecure.
Next Wednesday, I am going to work part time at McDonald’s, but I got chap on my point of a left finger. I try to cure it so hard, but it might not be cured. I cannot work there if I have bleeding some part of my body or using glove. So I have to tell the manager about it, but I feel something inside and feel difficult to contact him. It is very difficult to explain it in words. However, it is sure that this emotion is trying to tell me something. I feel guilt because I maybe not able to work on the day, braking a promise, or I feel dangerous because this might cause some relationship problem in my life.
Emotional reaction: insecurity TYPE:relationship
When a relationship might have a problem because of some event or cause, breaking a promise, in this case, I may not be able to work on the day, I feel insecure or defensive about it.
I think ti build a good relationship is one of the most important aspect to survive in the old age, so this emotion tells me to be careful about the relationship.
In Macdonald, I saw two little boys and two little girls were chatting. One of the girls was really cute and beautiful. It seems that the girl likes one of the boys. I could tell it from her body language. I felt several complicated feelings at the time.
1. Attraction to opposite sex
As usual, I am weak to women.
2. Envy
I felt envy toward the boy desired because it is not what I have in my life.
3.inferiority
I feel nervous when I talk to women I like because I know now that my body reminds me that she is attractive with chemicals in the brain. There is nothing wrong about it. However, he seems that he converse with them comfidently. He has a quality that I don’t. I think it made me feel inferior to him.
Hoooo.
There are so many emotion I feel to live in the world. Emotion is a gift from our ancestors but how strong the effect of emotion is. How can I tame it? There are some thips from the Laws of the Human Nature and mindfull meditation practice and so on. There were some ways to tame it. I wrote about it the article on emotion. Yesterday, I bumped into a philosophy that might be a help to get out of emotional drama in my life.
Stoicism
The idea of stoicism is that people who cultivated virtue and self-control in self, bring positive change in others.
As I study about it, I start to realize every influencial book like 7 habits of highly effective people, the Laws of Human Nature and so on, I have read is connected to the idea of stoicsm. By puting myself on an objective perspective, and focusing on reasons and natural laws that governs what happens in the world, not our emotion, we can not be governed by the emotional drama.
I have so many things to learn about Stoicism, but I think I really want to learn about it. I do not only read about it, but INTERNALIZE it as a way of living, and act upon it. From now on, I sometimes would like to study about stoicism on this blog not only about controlling my emotions.
2019年3月14日木曜日
March 14th: Daily Diary
Hi. I am Tsuyoshi.
I was so tired yesterday because I went to art school, and practice drawing yesterday, and I got to home at 10:00. After that, I played osu! and Smash Brothers with one of my friends online. It was a great time.
So, I observed several emotional reactions plus physical sensations yesterday.
In the train, a young girl with beautiful face sat next to her friend in front of me. Maybe be she is 13-18. With the arrangement of the seats in Japan, I and she sat face to face. I pretended to read a book, but I could not stop looking at her face because she was so beautiful. I analyzed my emotional reaction and physical sensation toward her. Just looking at her face, my body and especially felt warmer than before and my heart started to pound quickly. Her facial expression like smile, looking down, made me feel similar physical reaction. She also toughed her friend many times, and it made me mad. This reaction is similar to the one I have already experienced, attraction toward opposite sex. I strongly understand how strongly our feeling is affected by the information we perceive, and how weak men are at the appearance of women. For Just looking at her, and even though I know nothing of her, I felt attracted to her.
Women is like spiders. They attract men with her appearance and wait in her web, and men go into the web just to be caught.
I think Cleopatra played men to gain the power by understanding the characteristic and weakness of men with her theatrical quality.
Perhaps,if I know the weakness of women which should be different from man's, I may be able to use it like her.
My Emotional Trigger 1:TYPE SEXUAL
Seeing an attractive women, maybe which has certain facial features or body, arises my attraction toward opposite sex. Her facial expression also affect the feeling.
Physical Sensation
The body and especially heart feels warmer than before and the heart starts to pound quickly.
Everytime I read Robert Greene's book like The Laws of Human Nature, and imagine how these ideas can be used to deal with my life and control it. I felt different deep inside myself. My body feels somewhat less nervous, and more strong and confident. I think that is feeling of power and confidence. Actually the feeling is good, but as I write I realize that it is just an emotion. It is not rational. It is said when one gains power, it will change the person. When a person suddenly succeeds, it tends to change the person's personality. I think it is because the feeling of power. It is an emotion that can be used, but not you yourself. Always rely on yourself, your reasons.
My Emotional Trigger 3:POWER
When you feel you are bound to success or have power, you feel more confident, relaxed and bold.
Actually, I really like the feeling of power and I want to be in control of my life. What can I do to increase it? Read books that increase power, increase your knowledge, and practice and be a master. However, Don’t forget the beginner's mind.
Somethimes, it happens when I am not ready, yet I need to feel power to do the bold move or feel confident, maybe just pretending will increase your confidence. Just stand straight, feel you are good, jump up and down, enjoy life, love yourself, feel strong, you can do it, capable of it. Remember feeling of power is just an emotion. What is above emotion? Rationality.
Remember true confidence will not come in this way, but through experiences and learning by actions.
I was so tired yesterday because I went to art school, and practice drawing yesterday, and I got to home at 10:00. After that, I played osu! and Smash Brothers with one of my friends online. It was a great time.
So, I observed several emotional reactions plus physical sensations yesterday.
In the train, a young girl with beautiful face sat next to her friend in front of me. Maybe be she is 13-18. With the arrangement of the seats in Japan, I and she sat face to face. I pretended to read a book, but I could not stop looking at her face because she was so beautiful. I analyzed my emotional reaction and physical sensation toward her. Just looking at her face, my body and especially felt warmer than before and my heart started to pound quickly. Her facial expression like smile, looking down, made me feel similar physical reaction. She also toughed her friend many times, and it made me mad. This reaction is similar to the one I have already experienced, attraction toward opposite sex. I strongly understand how strongly our feeling is affected by the information we perceive, and how weak men are at the appearance of women. For Just looking at her, and even though I know nothing of her, I felt attracted to her.
Women is like spiders. They attract men with her appearance and wait in her web, and men go into the web just to be caught.
I think Cleopatra played men to gain the power by understanding the characteristic and weakness of men with her theatrical quality.
Perhaps,if I know the weakness of women which should be different from man's, I may be able to use it like her.
My Emotional Trigger 1:TYPE SEXUAL
Seeing an attractive women, maybe which has certain facial features or body, arises my attraction toward opposite sex. Her facial expression also affect the feeling.
Physical Sensation
The body and especially heart feels warmer than before and the heart starts to pound quickly.
Everytime I read Robert Greene's book like The Laws of Human Nature, and imagine how these ideas can be used to deal with my life and control it. I felt different deep inside myself. My body feels somewhat less nervous, and more strong and confident. I think that is feeling of power and confidence. Actually the feeling is good, but as I write I realize that it is just an emotion. It is not rational. It is said when one gains power, it will change the person. When a person suddenly succeeds, it tends to change the person's personality. I think it is because the feeling of power. It is an emotion that can be used, but not you yourself. Always rely on yourself, your reasons.
My Emotional Trigger 3:POWER
When you feel you are bound to success or have power, you feel more confident, relaxed and bold.
Actually, I really like the feeling of power and I want to be in control of my life. What can I do to increase it? Read books that increase power, increase your knowledge, and practice and be a master. However, Don’t forget the beginner's mind.
Somethimes, it happens when I am not ready, yet I need to feel power to do the bold move or feel confident, maybe just pretending will increase your confidence. Just stand straight, feel you are good, jump up and down, enjoy life, love yourself, feel strong, you can do it, capable of it. Remember feeling of power is just an emotion. What is above emotion? Rationality.
Remember true confidence will not come in this way, but through experiences and learning by actions.
Happiness is the feeling that power increases - that resistance is being overcome.Nietzsche
2019年3月13日水曜日
Reflections on The Four Agreement By Don Miguel Ruiz
In the previous article, I introduced how people create their own agreements, and it affect how they see the world. In this blog, I would like to go into the four agreements.
I would like to go on the Second Agreement on the next article!
The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
In the beginning
there was a word
the word was with God
the word is God
Gospel of John, beginning of the universe
I think one of the most favorite and important idea in the book. We know the use of the word is important, but we tend to ignore it.
The power of word is very strong that it can change a person or a world, like a magic.
A word can be used to hurt or heal others.
Every human is a magician, and decide to cast a spell.
We can be a white magician or black magician with the use of the word.
If one person says to another " you are ugly and stupid ", and the other person believes it, it cast a spell on him. these words become his agreements.
What does being impeccable means?
Impeccable means without sin. Sin means against yourself.
Be aware of the power of the word, and the use of it to yourself and others.
How oftten do we hurt ourselves in our mind.
"Idiot!"
"How did I do this!"
"I am not worthy."
"I am ugly."
Accept and love yourself as who you are including your weakness, this is true love.
Tell yourself how much you are important, worthy.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
-Budda-
You action should always be aligned with mission or life's purpose you created.
Be aware of the use of words toward others.
Gossip is one of the worst I can do. It may feel good to talk about others behind their back,and it unites people present but it will cast a spell on them. It will change their way of seeing the person gossiped. The person who is gossiped might be hurt by knowing that he is gossiped about.
Be impeccable your word is very easy to understand, but we have to constantly be aware of the power of words and their effect to make this habit.
I am always strongly aware of the power of my words toward myself and others. My words is a double-edged sword, which can hurt or heal others including myself. I use my words to heal others, love others, tell others how important and special they are.
I never gossip about others.
I never gossip about others.
I would like to go on the Second Agreement on the next article!
Thank you for reading!
Reflections on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Recently, I have listened the audiobook of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book is about understanding how our belief past to us from everything around us, parents, school, friends, televisions from the childhood affect how we understand the world. The author recommends readers to internalize 4 beliefs,in the author's word, Four Agreement to get rid of agreements which is not for us. The book is very poetic and powerful. It beautifully explain how our belief and thinking mind affect our mental state and eventually our life, and the four agreements are powerful to avoid unnecessary worries, and make peace on earth. However, I think the author makes the book vague and open to interpretation, not specific. Different people will interpret these information differently, thinking they understand what the point of the book is, and I have some part that I cannot really agree. I think I need to be critical, and I should not believe what the author is saying unconditionally. What he is saying also his belief, not truth, and I have to decide what to believe myself. In this blog, I would like to interpret the beautiful book in my way, so that I can use it in my life.
Introduction:Domestication and the Dream of the Planet
We, our brain see the world in our own way. What we see, what we believe, how we feel are strongly affected by our early childhood. Steven R. Covey in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People calls the way of the seeing the world paradigm. Don Miguel Ruiz use the word, dream. Dr.Steven R. Covey didn't go deep into how exactly our perception is formed, but Don Miguel Ruiz explain his deep insight about the dream. I think it is really interesting.
He explain the importance of Attention and Language. in childhood, we use our attention to learn about the world, like how to behave, what is good or bad, what is acceptable or not acceptable. Not only attention, people like parents, teachers, people in church teach what is good or not, what to believe or not to believe with language.
"You should not do that!."
"You should be a doctor."
Every language is an agreement, and these little agreements are accumulated, and the belief of you is formed. These agreements affect how you see the world, your personal dream or paradigm. We did not have chance to choose our belief because we were so small, and believed what others say unconditionally.
However, once you are aware of these agreements, you can choose to get rid of unnecessary agreements or agreements that hurt yourself.
"I am not worthy of love."
"I am ugly."
"I am useless."
These agreements hurt the person who has them over and over again.
When I was a junior highschool student, I didn't go to school, and stayed at home, playing video games all the time. I had similar agreements toward myself, but try to neglect it. I felt useless, I did not have future. When I was a high school student, one book helped me to have a different agreement,"I can change and grow by following collect principles of growth." The book is Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I believed it, and I believe it now.
The effect of paradigm or dream to our life is huge. One agreement can change one's life. By being aware of them, we can rewrite our agreements and live our own life that you would like to live.
Remind: People do not see the world as it is, but as they are conditioned to through their paradigm or dream. They create their dream with their attention and language from people like their parents, friends, education at places like home, school, church and so on. They have different agreements as you do.
I think knowing this can change how we treat others, and what I can do for others to understand them.
As I write, I realized the article is becoming long. I would like to go on the four agreement in the next one.
Introduction:Domestication and the Dream of the Planet
We, our brain see the world in our own way. What we see, what we believe, how we feel are strongly affected by our early childhood. Steven R. Covey in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People calls the way of the seeing the world paradigm. Don Miguel Ruiz use the word, dream. Dr.Steven R. Covey didn't go deep into how exactly our perception is formed, but Don Miguel Ruiz explain his deep insight about the dream. I think it is really interesting.
He explain the importance of Attention and Language. in childhood, we use our attention to learn about the world, like how to behave, what is good or bad, what is acceptable or not acceptable. Not only attention, people like parents, teachers, people in church teach what is good or not, what to believe or not to believe with language.
"You should not do that!."
"You should be a doctor."
Every language is an agreement, and these little agreements are accumulated, and the belief of you is formed. These agreements affect how you see the world, your personal dream or paradigm. We did not have chance to choose our belief because we were so small, and believed what others say unconditionally.
However, once you are aware of these agreements, you can choose to get rid of unnecessary agreements or agreements that hurt yourself.
"I am not worthy of love."
"I am ugly."
"I am useless."
These agreements hurt the person who has them over and over again.
When I was a junior highschool student, I didn't go to school, and stayed at home, playing video games all the time. I had similar agreements toward myself, but try to neglect it. I felt useless, I did not have future. When I was a high school student, one book helped me to have a different agreement,"I can change and grow by following collect principles of growth." The book is Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I believed it, and I believe it now.
The effect of paradigm or dream to our life is huge. One agreement can change one's life. By being aware of them, we can rewrite our agreements and live our own life that you would like to live.
Remind: People do not see the world as it is, but as they are conditioned to through their paradigm or dream. They create their dream with their attention and language from people like their parents, friends, education at places like home, school, church and so on. They have different agreements as you do.
I think knowing this can change how we treat others, and what I can do for others to understand them.
2019年3月12日火曜日
2019 March 12th: Daily Diary
Today, I didn't do a lot of stuff. I caught a cold maybe a week ago, and it still makes me sick, and I slept most of the day. I needed to buy shoes for my part-time job, so I went to a department store, and bought them, and I thought it was a chance to observe my emotion, and human nature there.
One of the realization is that how attracted I am to young women there. As soon as I see one whose face is pretty or skin is beautiful and smooth, I easily feel emotion of attraction toward women. There are so many school girls there in uniform. I have no idea why schools in Japan design their uniform like that. It is made so effective to arouse man's desire. It is a strange feeling that my desire toward young women in a objective way.
My Emotional Trigger 1: TYPE SEXUAL
Seeing an attractive women, maybe which has certain facial features or body, arises my attraction toward opposite sex.
I think this one is so typical for every men alive, and deeply in our DNA to leave offspring. I am not sure how I deal with it. I think we have to admit our human nature, and it is always important to try to be rational in our decision.
Other realization is while looking around the grocery store, and observing people there, I could feel what they are feeling or thinking, using my whole body and attention. It is important to be fully present at the moment to observe others, and feel yourself as if you become a person you are observing, using the whole of your senses to do this.
Human beings have a certain neuron to feel what others are feeling. maybe our ancestors developed it so that we can live and survive our group environment. We have this powerful tool, but we do not utilize it or realize it. By observing their face, body, feeling, I could see only overall feeling or impression of what they are thinking are feeling at the moment. As practices, I will be more aware of them in the future.
Another observation of my emotion happened when I played smash brothers special with another player. In the game, we can use command called appeal. After pushing appeal button, the character in the game dance or do a certain movement that expresses some emotion such as happiness, anger, frustrating. This appeal are sometimes used to make others tilted. So, when I played the game with another player online. First, I appealed for many times after I knocked down him because he was actually strong and I was defeated so many times before that. It made me feel good. However, the moment he knocked me down, he appeal back so many times to me. Actually, my appeal tilted him, and he tried to fight me back!! His appeal also made me angry and appeal him back again. It continued several times after he left the room. the point is my appeal was regarded as trying to tilt him and made him tilted, and he tried to fight me back, and it made me more titled! I decided to make sure that I never make others insecure or challenged with my words or actions because these feeling like anger spreads.
My Emotional Trigger 2: TYPE ANGER
When we see even if misunderstanding others challenge, try to fight and attack, we tend to be defensive or fight them back, using the same emotion we receive in today's case anger.
I think I need more information for this theory.
Characteristic of Emotion
Emotion actually spreads easily. When we receive a certain emotion like anger, resentment, challenge or titled, we tend to catch these emotion, so the projection and management of emotion is so important to control our situation.
I constantly feel that I tend to avoid feeling of pain all the time. I need to practice drawing and take time to do it, but I try to do different things like reading or writing this article, which I feel less painful to do.
My Emotional Tendency: Avoidance of Pain
This is not a strong trigger that causes a certain emotion, so I will put it in a different category.
Robert Greene says that pain or frustration is a sign of actually advancing at skill.
I need to go through resistance, pain to transform myself and reach mastery.
That is for today! Thank you for reading.
One of the realization is that how attracted I am to young women there. As soon as I see one whose face is pretty or skin is beautiful and smooth, I easily feel emotion of attraction toward women. There are so many school girls there in uniform. I have no idea why schools in Japan design their uniform like that. It is made so effective to arouse man's desire. It is a strange feeling that my desire toward young women in a objective way.
My Emotional Trigger 1: TYPE SEXUAL
Seeing an attractive women, maybe which has certain facial features or body, arises my attraction toward opposite sex.
I think this one is so typical for every men alive, and deeply in our DNA to leave offspring. I am not sure how I deal with it. I think we have to admit our human nature, and it is always important to try to be rational in our decision.
Other realization is while looking around the grocery store, and observing people there, I could feel what they are feeling or thinking, using my whole body and attention. It is important to be fully present at the moment to observe others, and feel yourself as if you become a person you are observing, using the whole of your senses to do this.
Human beings have a certain neuron to feel what others are feeling. maybe our ancestors developed it so that we can live and survive our group environment. We have this powerful tool, but we do not utilize it or realize it. By observing their face, body, feeling, I could see only overall feeling or impression of what they are thinking are feeling at the moment. As practices, I will be more aware of them in the future.
Another observation of my emotion happened when I played smash brothers special with another player. In the game, we can use command called appeal. After pushing appeal button, the character in the game dance or do a certain movement that expresses some emotion such as happiness, anger, frustrating. This appeal are sometimes used to make others tilted. So, when I played the game with another player online. First, I appealed for many times after I knocked down him because he was actually strong and I was defeated so many times before that. It made me feel good. However, the moment he knocked me down, he appeal back so many times to me. Actually, my appeal tilted him, and he tried to fight me back!! His appeal also made me angry and appeal him back again. It continued several times after he left the room. the point is my appeal was regarded as trying to tilt him and made him tilted, and he tried to fight me back, and it made me more titled! I decided to make sure that I never make others insecure or challenged with my words or actions because these feeling like anger spreads.
My Emotional Trigger 2: TYPE ANGER
When we see even if misunderstanding others challenge, try to fight and attack, we tend to be defensive or fight them back, using the same emotion we receive in today's case anger.
I think I need more information for this theory.
Characteristic of Emotion
Emotion actually spreads easily. When we receive a certain emotion like anger, resentment, challenge or titled, we tend to catch these emotion, so the projection and management of emotion is so important to control our situation.
I constantly feel that I tend to avoid feeling of pain all the time. I need to practice drawing and take time to do it, but I try to do different things like reading or writing this article, which I feel less painful to do.
My Emotional Tendency: Avoidance of Pain
This is not a strong trigger that causes a certain emotion, so I will put it in a different category.
Robert Greene says that pain or frustration is a sign of actually advancing at skill.
I need to go through resistance, pain to transform myself and reach mastery.
That is for today! Thank you for reading.
Thinking self and Emotion
I have had a crush for a long time for a year in my school. She is shy, but she has a long hair, pretty face and beautiful voice. She is liked or loved maybe by many men in class I think. I had constantly thought of her and make her my own. In other words, she had seduced me somehow and I fell in love with her. I read books or articles about loves or how to make others like me like “ Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene and “How to win friends and influence people”. I also started exercise more and train muscles to be more attractive, a topical behavior for men who fall in love. It seems good to be in love, but the negative point is the emotional drama that love brings into my life and how it affect my life. It makes me difficult to concentrate on tasks or works which is important to do in order to improve myself as she shows up to my mind. Her image and memory with her makes me so excited but also distracted. When she talks with other men, it makes me so jealous and sad that it makes me think, guess or make a assumption about their relationships. I sometimes think that another man love her, and she is also influenced by his love and love him back. They meet together, talk together, laugh together and go on a date and so on and on. It also makes me unusual around her. I feel very nervous around her, and difficult to talk to her even though what I really want to do is talk with her, have a good time with her and love her. This makes me sad, jealous and I don’t like it.
Shakespeare once said.
love is blind
I love her, but I started to hate the emotional drama because it seems something is controlling my life. Why do we act foolishly like this when we are in love?I always want to calm and be in control in my life. I like the feeling of falling love and thinking about my crush, but is this healthy to think about her all the time, and be distracted to do things that is important in my life and live my life fully? I don’t think so. The name of this blog is “start living my life” and there is a big obstacle to live my life, the feeling of love for my crush. Is there a way to cleverly in love with someone and also being calm, love her fully, and detached from these emotional drama. Even if I am disliked by her or she dates with another man, can I remain calm?
Therefore, I started to find a way somehow to get out of this emotional drama, and start living my life, and I may find an way to do so. I think this problem is deeply connected with Thinking self and Emotion. The key word to get out of them is “awareness”.
Certain emotion like emotion of happiness, lust, nervousness, attraction, hatred is reaction of the body or the brain to certain triggers, causes or stimulation.
I need more studies and experiences on this subject.
For example, when I see a beautiful woman, a trigger point, the information from my sight first come to spinal cord, then to limbic system, where we feel emotion, attraction toward opposite sex.
This is how emotion works!
And we are surrounded by so many triggers for thousands of kinds of emotions we feel such as irritation, fear, comfort, dislike, and we will feel these emotions constantly through out our life. So, can we stop feeling emotion? It is also most impossible because it is deeply inherited into the human nature our DNA. Emotion is actually essential to live.
We use emotion to decide people to be with. Do you want to be with a person who stare up the feeling of discomfort and anxiety or you want be with people you are comfortable.
When a man with a knife approaches you, the feeling of fear or danger makes you realize you are in danger.
When you need to do bold action, the feeling of nervousness tells you that you need to be careful about the action you take.
Emotion can be useful, but not perfect.
Emotion cannot distinguish emotion coming from reality and our thought. In my case, as I think about my crush, I feel the emotion of attraction again and think about her again and again and again.
Imagine someone sexy or attracted to. If you like her legs or hips or breast. Think about it and I am sure that it will push your emotional button for lust. I have no idea how women feel lust, but maybe very different from men, but similar process.
This is also a characteristic of emotion of human beings, which can be a huge problem. Animals have emotions, but not be able to think. Therefore, their emotion only occurs when a certain stimulation pushed their emotional button. However, in the case of human beings, they develop a strong power to detach from the present moment and learn from the information they gathered and think and imagine about past and future.
This thinking also can push our emotional button. Just thinking about a certain event, situation or person, make us feel a certain emotion, fear, anxiety, attraction and so on. It can happen over and over again, which is very how people fall in love.
I never say thinking is useless, but it is essential. Being able to think and learn from the past is very unique for human and precious. For the ability, we can learn, create, have a belief or ideas and communicate so effectively with others. However, it is why people have some many problems like my case. My thinking about my crush over and over again affect my life fully and it also ruins my life. I not only felt jealousy but hate for those who try to approach her even though they did nothing wrong! They are also attracted by her and just take actions to interact with her. It is a completely natural action. She is not mine!! She is a just another women living and breathing. However, love is blind and I have less mental space to analyze the situation fully. Our emotion ruins my life to choose wrong choices. From my value, I don’t want conflict and don’t want to hate others, but my love made me blind. The thinking self and emotion can trap you in a drama or if you used smartly, it can be our ally.
The problem is not emotion, but how we tame or use it. Emotion is a double edged sword. We start to suffer as soon as we identified ourselves with our thinking self and emotion.
At school, we don’t learn about emotion or how to tame it. I think it should. Furthermore, we are surrounded by popular culture like TV drama, comics, books, and influence from others to tell you that it is usual to follow the emotion and let it go. We soon start to tell myself stories of ourselves .
“I am that kind of person, so I should not do these things.”
“I need to be successful because I have so much talent!”
“I am useless and worthless because my parent and my life is a shit.”
Identifying with thinking self makes us difficult to live in the moment and see the reality as it is because we are so into our dream, our self-made story. It also increase your emotion as you think and think all the time. When something is going well, you feel extraordinary happy. However, when something goes wrong, you feel irritated, and depressed. Your life will be a giant story like a roller coaster going up and down and up and down all the time. And, many believe that they see life as it is. The reality is they are controlled by their thinking self and emotion. They think and think and are influenced by intense emotion or expectation from the thinking self. Reality is much more simple, you’re you, a normal human being with a conscious mind and you have emotion. A certain simulations or thinking triggers your emotion, and your brain feels it! That is it!
Now, I know what emotion and thinking self can do to us. Aware of the existence of emotion. Then, how can we do about it? How can we tame emotions? These are recommendation from books.
First, Calm your mind. Stop the insensitive thinking that happens in your mind. Your thinking mind makes it very difficult to see what is happening inside you. Famous analogy for this is the state of a river. When your mind is working all the time, the river is not clam. The flow of the river is harsh, you can not easily observe what is happening in the river or on the river. When your mind is calm, it is like a calm river, flowing peacefully. You can see fish inside. You can clearly see it when a stone fall plop on the river. It is said meditation is a good way, but I don't want to write about it because I am not in a position to be able to teach it.
Second. Be aware of emotion as it arises. We have another rational self that can observe our emotion objectively with calm eye. Be aware of it. It might be useful what puts your button and other people’s button. Write down. Enjoy it. You will have more understandings of emotion so that you can find a way to do with them when emotion arises.
Third, Auto-suggestions(Prayer) can be used to make our mind full of positive emotion and thought. Instead of calming the mind with non-doing like meditation, by repeating the same emotion or belief over and over again, we make the mind full of these positive ideas so that there will be no space for negative thought to happen. Once you are in love, you tend to think about the love for him/her over and over with strong emotion, intensifying the emotion. We can use it to decide the direction of the mind and emotion. It is different from controlling the mind, but powerful tool.
These are three I can think of now to tame my emotion. It is easy to write about it, but it is extremely difficult to master I think.
Robert Greene said that just reading books is not enough, I have to apply what I have learned in the book and use it in order to improve my life, power. So, I would like to write articles on my daily diary, what happened and my analysis toward my emotional reaction for it. I think it will be very useful to be aware of emotion, and it might be interesting for you to read how another man feels and deals with emotion everyday. I would like to write other article about emotion as I realize something as life goes on. I hope I would be able tame my emotional self and control my life. I think taming my emotional self is a big step to start living myself.
Feelings and their origination in judgement
`Trust your feelings!` -But feelings are nothing final or original; behind feelings there stand judgement and evaluations which we inherit in the form of feelings(inclinations, aversions), the inspiration born of a feeling is the grandchild
of a judgement- and often of a false judgement!- and in any event not a child of your own! To trust one's feeling- means to give more obedience to one's grandfather and grandmother and their grandparents than to the gods which are in us: our reason and our experience.
Nietzsche
From The Laws of Human Nature chapter 1. master your emotional self, Laws of Irrationality.
Shakespeare once said.
love is blind
and lovers cannot see
the pretty follies
that themselves commit
William Shakespeare
I love her, but I started to hate the emotional drama because it seems something is controlling my life. Why do we act foolishly like this when we are in love?I always want to calm and be in control in my life. I like the feeling of falling love and thinking about my crush, but is this healthy to think about her all the time, and be distracted to do things that is important in my life and live my life fully? I don’t think so. The name of this blog is “start living my life” and there is a big obstacle to live my life, the feeling of love for my crush. Is there a way to cleverly in love with someone and also being calm, love her fully, and detached from these emotional drama. Even if I am disliked by her or she dates with another man, can I remain calm?
Therefore, I started to find a way somehow to get out of this emotional drama, and start living my life, and I may find an way to do so. I think this problem is deeply connected with Thinking self and Emotion. The key word to get out of them is “awareness”.
Certain emotion like emotion of happiness, lust, nervousness, attraction, hatred is reaction of the body or the brain to certain triggers, causes or stimulation.
I need more studies and experiences on this subject.
For example, when I see a beautiful woman, a trigger point, the information from my sight first come to spinal cord, then to limbic system, where we feel emotion, attraction toward opposite sex.
This is how emotion works!
And we are surrounded by so many triggers for thousands of kinds of emotions we feel such as irritation, fear, comfort, dislike, and we will feel these emotions constantly through out our life. So, can we stop feeling emotion? It is also most impossible because it is deeply inherited into the human nature our DNA. Emotion is actually essential to live.
We use emotion to decide people to be with. Do you want to be with a person who stare up the feeling of discomfort and anxiety or you want be with people you are comfortable.
When a man with a knife approaches you, the feeling of fear or danger makes you realize you are in danger.
When you need to do bold action, the feeling of nervousness tells you that you need to be careful about the action you take.
Emotion can be useful, but not perfect.
Emotion cannot distinguish emotion coming from reality and our thought. In my case, as I think about my crush, I feel the emotion of attraction again and think about her again and again and again.
Imagine someone sexy or attracted to. If you like her legs or hips or breast. Think about it and I am sure that it will push your emotional button for lust. I have no idea how women feel lust, but maybe very different from men, but similar process.
This is also a characteristic of emotion of human beings, which can be a huge problem. Animals have emotions, but not be able to think. Therefore, their emotion only occurs when a certain stimulation pushed their emotional button. However, in the case of human beings, they develop a strong power to detach from the present moment and learn from the information they gathered and think and imagine about past and future.
This thinking also can push our emotional button. Just thinking about a certain event, situation or person, make us feel a certain emotion, fear, anxiety, attraction and so on. It can happen over and over again, which is very how people fall in love.
I never say thinking is useless, but it is essential. Being able to think and learn from the past is very unique for human and precious. For the ability, we can learn, create, have a belief or ideas and communicate so effectively with others. However, it is why people have some many problems like my case. My thinking about my crush over and over again affect my life fully and it also ruins my life. I not only felt jealousy but hate for those who try to approach her even though they did nothing wrong! They are also attracted by her and just take actions to interact with her. It is a completely natural action. She is not mine!! She is a just another women living and breathing. However, love is blind and I have less mental space to analyze the situation fully. Our emotion ruins my life to choose wrong choices. From my value, I don’t want conflict and don’t want to hate others, but my love made me blind. The thinking self and emotion can trap you in a drama or if you used smartly, it can be our ally.
The problem is not emotion, but how we tame or use it. Emotion is a double edged sword. We start to suffer as soon as we identified ourselves with our thinking self and emotion.
At school, we don’t learn about emotion or how to tame it. I think it should. Furthermore, we are surrounded by popular culture like TV drama, comics, books, and influence from others to tell you that it is usual to follow the emotion and let it go. We soon start to tell myself stories of ourselves .
“I am that kind of person, so I should not do these things.”
“I need to be successful because I have so much talent!”
“I am useless and worthless because my parent and my life is a shit.”
Identifying with thinking self makes us difficult to live in the moment and see the reality as it is because we are so into our dream, our self-made story. It also increase your emotion as you think and think all the time. When something is going well, you feel extraordinary happy. However, when something goes wrong, you feel irritated, and depressed. Your life will be a giant story like a roller coaster going up and down and up and down all the time. And, many believe that they see life as it is. The reality is they are controlled by their thinking self and emotion. They think and think and are influenced by intense emotion or expectation from the thinking self. Reality is much more simple, you’re you, a normal human being with a conscious mind and you have emotion. A certain simulations or thinking triggers your emotion, and your brain feels it! That is it!
Now, I know what emotion and thinking self can do to us. Aware of the existence of emotion. Then, how can we do about it? How can we tame emotions? These are recommendation from books.
First, Calm your mind. Stop the insensitive thinking that happens in your mind. Your thinking mind makes it very difficult to see what is happening inside you. Famous analogy for this is the state of a river. When your mind is working all the time, the river is not clam. The flow of the river is harsh, you can not easily observe what is happening in the river or on the river. When your mind is calm, it is like a calm river, flowing peacefully. You can see fish inside. You can clearly see it when a stone fall plop on the river. It is said meditation is a good way, but I don't want to write about it because I am not in a position to be able to teach it.
Second. Be aware of emotion as it arises. We have another rational self that can observe our emotion objectively with calm eye. Be aware of it. It might be useful what puts your button and other people’s button. Write down. Enjoy it. You will have more understandings of emotion so that you can find a way to do with them when emotion arises.
Third, Auto-suggestions(Prayer) can be used to make our mind full of positive emotion and thought. Instead of calming the mind with non-doing like meditation, by repeating the same emotion or belief over and over again, we make the mind full of these positive ideas so that there will be no space for negative thought to happen. Once you are in love, you tend to think about the love for him/her over and over with strong emotion, intensifying the emotion. We can use it to decide the direction of the mind and emotion. It is different from controlling the mind, but powerful tool.
These are three I can think of now to tame my emotion. It is easy to write about it, but it is extremely difficult to master I think.
Robert Greene said that just reading books is not enough, I have to apply what I have learned in the book and use it in order to improve my life, power. So, I would like to write articles on my daily diary, what happened and my analysis toward my emotional reaction for it. I think it will be very useful to be aware of emotion, and it might be interesting for you to read how another man feels and deals with emotion everyday. I would like to write other article about emotion as I realize something as life goes on. I hope I would be able tame my emotional self and control my life. I think taming my emotional self is a big step to start living myself.
Feelings and their origination in judgement
`Trust your feelings!` -But feelings are nothing final or original; behind feelings there stand judgement and evaluations which we inherit in the form of feelings(inclinations, aversions), the inspiration born of a feeling is the grandchild
of a judgement- and often of a false judgement!- and in any event not a child of your own! To trust one's feeling- means to give more obedience to one's grandfather and grandmother and their grandparents than to the gods which are in us: our reason and our experience.
Nietzsche
From The Laws of Human Nature chapter 1. master your emotional self, Laws of Irrationality.
2019年3月10日日曜日
My goal in spring vacation
Hi! Long time no see. I am sorry I was busy doing stuff in school, so I couldn’t upload articles these days. I am going to upload more often from now.
Today, the semester has finished, and now I am in spring vacation from today to March 28th, about two months, so I will have plenty of free time, but I will not waste my time playing video games, watching animations. I will make most of my vacation to tranaform myself. To be honest, I have a crush I met in the school, and I would like to surprise her by becoming a better man lol. Therefore, I would like to set goals that I am going to acomplish about myself in every aspect of life.
1.Physical health
2.Intelligence
3.Spirit
4.money
5.Draftman and animator
1.Physical Health
I believe that nothing is successful without health body, mind, spirit, relationships. As usual, I constantly wake up early, exercise(running, build muscles and stretch) , eat healthy, drink healthy.
2.Intelligence
I keep reading books on various subject so that I learn correct principles and live aligned with that princeples I have learned.
3. Work
I will start working part-time job so that I gain experiences of earning money by myself.
4.Spirit
In this spring vacation,I gather ideas and quotations from my experiences and books I read. I spend some time making and improving my mission statement so that I live my mission every moment.
5. Draftman and animator
I will devote myself to improve my drawing skills and understanding on animation and cinematography.
Natural Way to Draw
Anatomy
Perspective
Animation
Clean-up
Cinematography
I am going to improve these 5 aspects.
Natural Way to Draw
I am going to practice exercises of natural way to draw again, which is a book that helps me to learn to draw.
Anatomy
I relearn anatomy so that I can draw convincing human figure. I watch video of Robert Bravely HALE, read books of Bridgeman.
Perspective
I learn perspective by doing exercises on how to draw from imagination, which is is a book that helps me to learn perspective. In addition, I can watch video on YouTube about perspective.
Animation
I learn animation by reading books like animators survival kit and illusion of life, Drawn to Life. And, I will actually create animation works, using what I have learnt from the book.
Clean-up
Clean-up is a skill that make ruff drawings into clean-ligned drawings. Clean-up is the one of the most important skill that animators must have. Usually, after getting into animation industry, beginners will do clean-up. I will make one clean-up drawing everyday, so that I improve my skill day by day. I think clean-up is a skill that I have to do it everyday to improve.
Cinematography
I learn cinematography by reading books like 5 Cs of cinematography and film directing shot by shot. I watch a lot of films and make study notes, gathering tips or trick to make a better film.
These are a lot of tasks to be done. This is a goal I would like to acomplish, but my life is complete every moment. I just want to enjoy the precious moment that I only have NOW. The courage to be disliked, which is a book on Alfred Adrar states that we should live like dancing. When dancing, I cannot worry about where I am going, but just enjoy the moment. In addition, I wrote that I would like to surprise my crush, I am not going to improve myself for her to sell myself. I would like to improve myself because I like to do it. I would like to be like Makoto Shinkai who is an animation artist I respect, and live aligned to my mission “Be a light for other people”. I would like to encourage others by creating great animation works, I would like to encourage others through interaction with others like I was encouraged by Steven R Covey when I was in Darkness. Anyway, I just want to live my life in conclusion lol.
2.Intelligence
3.Spirit
4.money
5.Draftman and animator
1.Physical Health
I believe that nothing is successful without health body, mind, spirit, relationships. As usual, I constantly wake up early, exercise(running, build muscles and stretch) , eat healthy, drink healthy.
2.Intelligence
I keep reading books on various subject so that I learn correct principles and live aligned with that princeples I have learned.
3. Work
I will start working part-time job so that I gain experiences of earning money by myself.
4.Spirit
In this spring vacation,I gather ideas and quotations from my experiences and books I read. I spend some time making and improving my mission statement so that I live my mission every moment.
5. Draftman and animator
I will devote myself to improve my drawing skills and understanding on animation and cinematography.
Natural Way to Draw
Anatomy
Perspective
Animation
Clean-up
Cinematography
I am going to improve these 5 aspects.
Natural Way to Draw
I am going to practice exercises of natural way to draw again, which is a book that helps me to learn to draw.
Anatomy
I relearn anatomy so that I can draw convincing human figure. I watch video of Robert Bravely HALE, read books of Bridgeman.
Perspective
I learn perspective by doing exercises on how to draw from imagination, which is is a book that helps me to learn perspective. In addition, I can watch video on YouTube about perspective.
Animation
I learn animation by reading books like animators survival kit and illusion of life, Drawn to Life. And, I will actually create animation works, using what I have learnt from the book.
Clean-up
Clean-up is a skill that make ruff drawings into clean-ligned drawings. Clean-up is the one of the most important skill that animators must have. Usually, after getting into animation industry, beginners will do clean-up. I will make one clean-up drawing everyday, so that I improve my skill day by day. I think clean-up is a skill that I have to do it everyday to improve.
Cinematography
I learn cinematography by reading books like 5 Cs of cinematography and film directing shot by shot. I watch a lot of films and make study notes, gathering tips or trick to make a better film.
These are a lot of tasks to be done. This is a goal I would like to acomplish, but my life is complete every moment. I just want to enjoy the precious moment that I only have NOW. The courage to be disliked, which is a book on Alfred Adrar states that we should live like dancing. When dancing, I cannot worry about where I am going, but just enjoy the moment. In addition, I wrote that I would like to surprise my crush, I am not going to improve myself for her to sell myself. I would like to improve myself because I like to do it. I would like to be like Makoto Shinkai who is an animation artist I respect, and live aligned to my mission “Be a light for other people”. I would like to encourage others by creating great animation works, I would like to encourage others through interaction with others like I was encouraged by Steven R Covey when I was in Darkness. Anyway, I just want to live my life in conclusion lol.
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