Daily Diary March 16th

Hello! I think I should have written this article yesterday, when is the day my emotion aroused, but I played a video game with one of my friends, and did not have time to do so. (It is an excuse. I should have make time to do it.)

Yesterday, I woke up around 10 am, and went to cafe close to my house to study the Laws of Human Nature. I chatted with one of my friends who really wants me to buy splatoon 2 and play with me, and finally I bought it, believing it to be a right choice. I played it with him yesterday. It was fun to play it with him, but... I thought it was more interesting to read and study about something like stoicism and philosophy. I could know more about myself. Maybe I would enjoy the game more, by changing my attitude toward it.

Anyway, I thought I did not feel very strong emotional reaction yesterday.

I think about the reason.

1. I did not do activities or experience things that arise emotional reaction.
2. I was so into my self-talk or thinking mind that I could not observe and analyze stimulation and emotional reaction toward them.

I think both of them are right, but the second reason is stronger.
When I be or play with others in yesterday's case, with a friend, it is difficult to see the situation objectively. I tend to lose my objective analysis about the situation, an just act as I like to do, which is not rational at all. When I am relaxed and by myself, I feel really clam and my thinking is really clear and alert. The feeling is very similar when I meditate or focus on one task at hand. I can not deny that I was in distracted state, I lost my attention to my emotion yesterday. I think daily meditation practice  and application of it might help calm mind mind to calm every situation like party, being with others, interacting with others, and think rationally and act rationally every moment.

I also think the first reason is also important.
To feel a emotion, we need a stimulation to feel it. However, if there are no simulations to feel it, we will not feel a emotion! Yes, we can think or imagine to feel it, but I try to stop thinking about something too much because it it will lead to identification with my thinking mind, see my article on emotion.

However, there are some emotions I experienced yesterday I felt, so I would like to write about them.

When I talked with the friends whether I should have bought the game or not. The both side expressed their position.

My position:  I am recently into reading books, and I feel less motivation to do things like playing video games.

His position: I really want to play with you now!!

I felt he is full of emotion, desire to play the game with me. Once we expressed both position, and could clearly see the situation.

He told me that I do not have to play so hard the game.
                                               and
I know that once a desire is satisfied, he will not think about the game so much that I will have more time to study and read.

Therefore, I have decided to buy it and play with him.

What happened the moment is what happens when both parties understand the both position.

When I felt by stating my position that I am not so much into playing video games, and he knows about it. I felt understood and less defensive toward others. Also, by stating his position, that he have a strong desire, and he really wants to play it now. I guess he felt he felt understood and less defensive toward new possibility. At that time, I think I could choose not to buy the game at the moment, and he would agree about it because we both understand our position. I think I unconsciously put habit 4,5,6 of 7 habits of highly effective people into practice.

I am not sure it is a emotion but I think it is a interesting experience to actually face how theses principles and habits work.

Emotional Reaction: Feeling of being Understood    TYPE:RELATIONSHIP
When I felt understood by someone, I feel less defensive toward other people's influences. 

People tend to express their own position and opinion, and they will think others do not understand when they do not agree with you or influenced by you. Instead, try to understand their position why they are defensive and what they are feeling.
Put both positions on the table, make sure that you understand another, and he understand you. It will make communication much more open because feeling of understood make people less defensive. Then, find the best solution which is win for you and the other person. That is essence of Win-Win.

Yesterday, I talked with the friend about my crush at school, and as I talk about her, and it actually reminded me of memories of her like the first time we talked together.  I started to miss her voice, laugh, smile everything about her.

Emotional Reaction: Feeling of missing someone
Trigger is thinking about our talking about someone in my case. I searched online one misses their loved one when

・When one lives far away
・When one sleeps by oneself
・When one makes a mistake at work or school
・When one see couples
・Christmas and Valentine
・When one is alone in one's room
・When one sees couples in SNS
・When one is sick.
・When one went to a wedding ceremony.
・Winter

These buttons connect people's memories or experiences with the present moment and make a comparison in mind. It makes them want to repeat the same pleasurable feeling again and again.

Remember it is just an emotion not you. The brain is doing it. Being aware of these emotions helps me understand how emotions affect and govern our actions.
And trust your reasons instead of emotions to really do the right things at the moment.

Thank you for reading.