I want to feel from emotional entanglement of others. It will be fucking liberating, including my crush.
See the reality.
1. Self-reliance
2. Corroborate with others to solve problems of the world.
2019年10月11日金曜日
2019/10/10 Daily Journal
I had an animation class, and I used to was in a group of three, but I declared independence and tried to be make animation work myself. I feel more freedom and less responsibility and make anything I want. The freedom is fucking good.
2019年9月28日土曜日
Weekly Journal from 9/23 to 9/28.
9/23
I went to school. I have not met students there, so I felt nervous.
I started to draw illustration. It is about self-reliance. I am really excited to express myself though drawing.
I think expression is one of the greatest things in life. I hope a future when everyone expressing their idea freely without feeling judged.
9/24
I started to make an animation work with other students in class. I will be in charge of that. I am responsible for everything including quality. This is very responsible, but a great chance to learn about leadership and finishing a project. I have to work so hard I am going to die after this project.
Do not trust other team members. I need to think I am going to finish this project by myself.
9/25
I practiced background drawings, and I felt other students are better than me. It made me inferior. In group, we tend to compare myself with others. I need to master this, and others will feel the same, too. It is human nature, but how to deal with that!?
9/26
The day was about job hunting and after that it was about animation. I need to finish storyboard by the next week. I need to make many of them, so that which is the most interesting. I need to have them seen by many, so that I can have objective opinions from others.
I think it is better to take this 2 weeks.
One for making first draft and two for making it better.
Anyway this one will be the worst animation ever I will see.
9/27
There was a class on sketch. It was very useful. I knew most of what the teacher has said, but it is very great for him to explain what he has said in an easy to understand way. I need to draw if I want to be able to draw well. That is very simple and easy.
I helped an English space at ECC comp. It seems that I can help that scape and earn some money with that. However, it was much more difficult than I thought. First, I have not taught English, so I did not have enough draws of English to say.
I think output and actually doing is one of the most important thing in life to learn anything.
If interested in something, just do it and practice it many times.
After that I had class on dessin. It was difficult. I need to practice drawing harder and harder. Remember drawing is a way to learn about the life, and I am a student of life.
After school, I stay at school to work on my animation project. We discussed with others students about it, and could get some feedback from others.
Do women feel feeling of inferiority? My answer will be yes.
I went to school. I have not met students there, so I felt nervous.
I started to draw illustration. It is about self-reliance. I am really excited to express myself though drawing.
I think expression is one of the greatest things in life. I hope a future when everyone expressing their idea freely without feeling judged.
9/24
I started to make an animation work with other students in class. I will be in charge of that. I am responsible for everything including quality. This is very responsible, but a great chance to learn about leadership and finishing a project. I have to work so hard I am going to die after this project.
Do not trust other team members. I need to think I am going to finish this project by myself.
The theme is Change.
9/25
I practiced background drawings, and I felt other students are better than me. It made me inferior. In group, we tend to compare myself with others. I need to master this, and others will feel the same, too. It is human nature, but how to deal with that!?
9/26
The day was about job hunting and after that it was about animation. I need to finish storyboard by the next week. I need to make many of them, so that which is the most interesting. I need to have them seen by many, so that I can have objective opinions from others.
I think it is better to take this 2 weeks.
One for making first draft and two for making it better.
Anyway this one will be the worst animation ever I will see.
9/27
There was a class on sketch. It was very useful. I knew most of what the teacher has said, but it is very great for him to explain what he has said in an easy to understand way. I need to draw if I want to be able to draw well. That is very simple and easy.
I helped an English space at ECC comp. It seems that I can help that scape and earn some money with that. However, it was much more difficult than I thought. First, I have not taught English, so I did not have enough draws of English to say.
I think output and actually doing is one of the most important thing in life to learn anything.
If interested in something, just do it and practice it many times.
After that I had class on dessin. It was difficult. I need to practice drawing harder and harder. Remember drawing is a way to learn about the life, and I am a student of life.
After school, I stay at school to work on my animation project. We discussed with others students about it, and could get some feedback from others.
Do women feel feeling of inferiority? My answer will be yes.
2019年9月12日木曜日
2019/09/09 Daily Journal
On that day, I started to participate in a game jam at school.
In a game jam, we make a group and create a game together.
Some of students from Finland came to Japan, and we made a game together with them.
That was the first day.
On the day, our group decided the idea or plan for the game, and started to create the game.
One of team members was really good at making video games, so he carried us.
We followed his idea.
On that day, we finished most of the assets that we need.
We worked from 9:00 to 10:00 in the night.
I enjoyed talking with the international student and other students in our team.
I hope I could talk to other students from Finland there.
I have to admit that I was a little bit scared to talk with other students in Finland.
It was a great day.
In a game jam, we make a group and create a game together.
Some of students from Finland came to Japan, and we made a game together with them.
That was the first day.
On the day, our group decided the idea or plan for the game, and started to create the game.
One of team members was really good at making video games, so he carried us.
We followed his idea.
On that day, we finished most of the assets that we need.
We worked from 9:00 to 10:00 in the night.
I enjoyed talking with the international student and other students in our team.
I hope I could talk to other students from Finland there.
I have to admit that I was a little bit scared to talk with other students in Finland.
It was a great day.
2019/09/08 Daily Journal
What happened
I worked part-time.
After working part-time, we had a farewell party for our store manager at MacDonald that I work with.
We ate food and a big birthday cake for our store manager.
It was a great time to have fun and eat together with those who I work with.
After the party, we went for a Izakaya, and had some drink.
Actually, I had not had many relationships with people because I was not a type of person who go outside and meet many different people.
I started to change because I started to work part-time, and also do other activities at school like creating games in a team.
As I wrote this, my crush came to my mind, and I had some ideas of my next article, words can lie, but actions will not lie about the person.
These ideas combined suddenly, so let me state what it has came.
She is a person who likes to spend time with same friends, I have never saw her being new friends. I think she likes to feel controlled by doing the same thing over and over again.
She protects herself by not doing the action which is outside of her comfort zone if she does things outside of her usual action, she will be vulnerable to hurt or insecurities.
This tendency is not only for her, but for every human being. When we repeat and follow the daily routine, we tend to feel strong. However, put in a difficult or different situation. We feel very different as usual.
By the way, I had a good time at Izakaya.
I realized that I did not know how to talk with women, so conversation was not flowing, but I could learn new things, and I need to go out and put myself in such situations, so that I can learn and improve more.
I worked part-time.
After working part-time, we had a farewell party for our store manager at MacDonald that I work with.
We ate food and a big birthday cake for our store manager.
It was a great time to have fun and eat together with those who I work with.
After the party, we went for a Izakaya, and had some drink.
Actually, I had not had many relationships with people because I was not a type of person who go outside and meet many different people.
I started to change because I started to work part-time, and also do other activities at school like creating games in a team.
As I wrote this, my crush came to my mind, and I had some ideas of my next article, words can lie, but actions will not lie about the person.
These ideas combined suddenly, so let me state what it has came.
She is a person who likes to spend time with same friends, I have never saw her being new friends. I think she likes to feel controlled by doing the same thing over and over again.
She protects herself by not doing the action which is outside of her comfort zone if she does things outside of her usual action, she will be vulnerable to hurt or insecurities.
This tendency is not only for her, but for every human being. When we repeat and follow the daily routine, we tend to feel strong. However, put in a difficult or different situation. We feel very different as usual.
By the way, I had a good time at Izakaya.
I realized that I did not know how to talk with women, so conversation was not flowing, but I could learn new things, and I need to go out and put myself in such situations, so that I can learn and improve more.
2019/09/07 Daily Journal
Actually, I do not remember much about the day.
I remember I had a great time at part-time job.
These days, I do not keep how much I spend money, so I need to do that.
Umm There is not a lot to write about, because the idea went through my mind.
I remember I had a great time at part-time job.
These days, I do not keep how much I spend money, so I need to do that.
Umm There is not a lot to write about, because the idea went through my mind.
2019/09/06 Daily Journal
Hi..!
I was really busy these days, so I could not post articles.
HOWEVER, THERE WERE SO MUCH LEARNING IN THESE DAYS, SO I WILL WASTE VALUABLE EXPERIENCE IF I DO NO WRITE THEM DOWN.
On 2019 September 6th
I hang out with two of my friends from my university.
I had not met them for a year.
I went to Abeno Harukas, which is the tallest building in Japan.
I chatted with one of my friends about life and the next meeting.
After that, we met together the other friend and ate a lot of meal at a buffet restaurant at a beautiful hotel.
My friends seem that they did not change much on the surface,but they would had many experiences that they did not talk.
As I live life, I started to realize LIFE IS IN A CONSTANT CHANGE. Our feeling, thinking, ideas, the world, people, nature, body, everything is in a constant change.
In the book of The Way of The Superior Man, the author calls it feminine.
I cannot live against it, and blame the world about the change. This will only make me miserable, I have to live with it.
I have to surrender to the world.
Anyway, the food was great.
I had a great time!!
I cannot forget the experience.
The Flow of Seduction
This day, I experienced how being bold, and have no hesitation in seduction is very important.
Hayato, which is one of the friends I hang out with was a seducer at the day.
Even though he might not realize he is seducing.
I did not know where Abeno Harukas is and about the meal.
He prepared everything for us. That day's plan was very completed.
All I had to do was just be there and have fun.
The view from the building was really great, and I am very frustrating because I lost my reasons at that time a little. That is the power of seduction.
The experience of being seduced was quite nice, and I could learn a lot from that.
I think it comes from deep focus on others.
He thought about not what he want, but what we want.
He put efforts into entertaining others.
Remember seduction is an art.
・What will be obstacles to be a good seducer?
1.Self-observed: A man can focus on one thing at the moment.
A man can focus on his or her thought, their worry, anxiety, thinking. In the state, it is almost impossible to put focus on others because our mind is full of distraction for that.
A man can choose to focus on others, not what he wants from others, but what others want from him, their psychology, their body language, their tone of voice, what they want behind their mask.
One is inward, and the other is outward.
These are only two ways of approaching the life.
In seduction, we have to put all of our insecurity that we have aside and put intense focus on others.
Remember we can feel when others are paying individual attention or not. We can feel one is being him or herself or one is paying attention and communicate with one as an individual or one put us in a box, and communicate with one in such ways.
I think I should start a blog only about seduction because I love the concept.
It is a very difficult between giving myself to others and thinking about others.
I think I need to find who I am first, and focus on others.
As Steven, R Covey, put it, "Private Victory proceeds Public Victory."
2.Hesitation
That comes from self-observed part of us.
I tend to think in my head that
I am not saying this is bad!
It is very important to think and analyze using the mind, which is a great tool human beings have!!
However, it is a double-edged sword. It can make us fear everything and find problems in every situation.
That creates hesitation because there are doubts in mind.
In seduction, one who is being seduced want to feel that he/she is being led by others. Hesitation will break the flow. The one who is seduced will be thrown back to the reality in the moment they feel hesitation.
It is OK to make mistakes, huge mistakes, and you will.
However, do not act hesitantly, be bold.
28th Law of Power: Enter Action with Boldness
"Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity."
I think it is only a habit to be bold or timid.
It will be crucial to keep the flow in seduction.
Remember seduction is only a game like the life is like a game.
Do not take others seriously.
It is like playing a video game, and try to improve to be better.
To live is like a game. we are born in the world, and we need to play the game.
So,,,why don't we play the game, and enjoy it, improving our skill.
I was really busy these days, so I could not post articles.
HOWEVER, THERE WERE SO MUCH LEARNING IN THESE DAYS, SO I WILL WASTE VALUABLE EXPERIENCE IF I DO NO WRITE THEM DOWN.
On 2019 September 6th
I hang out with two of my friends from my university.
I had not met them for a year.
I went to Abeno Harukas, which is the tallest building in Japan.
I chatted with one of my friends about life and the next meeting.
After that, we met together the other friend and ate a lot of meal at a buffet restaurant at a beautiful hotel.
My friends seem that they did not change much on the surface,but they would had many experiences that they did not talk.
As I live life, I started to realize LIFE IS IN A CONSTANT CHANGE. Our feeling, thinking, ideas, the world, people, nature, body, everything is in a constant change.
In the book of The Way of The Superior Man, the author calls it feminine.
I cannot live against it, and blame the world about the change. This will only make me miserable, I have to live with it.
I have to surrender to the world.
Anyway, the food was great.
I had a great time!!
I cannot forget the experience.
The Flow of Seduction
This day, I experienced how being bold, and have no hesitation in seduction is very important.
Hayato, which is one of the friends I hang out with was a seducer at the day.
Even though he might not realize he is seducing.
I did not know where Abeno Harukas is and about the meal.
He prepared everything for us. That day's plan was very completed.
All I had to do was just be there and have fun.
The view from the building was really great, and I am very frustrating because I lost my reasons at that time a little. That is the power of seduction.
The experience of being seduced was quite nice, and I could learn a lot from that.
I think it comes from deep focus on others.
He thought about not what he want, but what we want.
He put efforts into entertaining others.
Remember seduction is an art.
・What will be obstacles to be a good seducer?
1.Self-observed: A man can focus on one thing at the moment.
A man can focus on his or her thought, their worry, anxiety, thinking. In the state, it is almost impossible to put focus on others because our mind is full of distraction for that.
A man can choose to focus on others, not what he wants from others, but what others want from him, their psychology, their body language, their tone of voice, what they want behind their mask.
One is inward, and the other is outward.
These are only two ways of approaching the life.
In seduction, we have to put all of our insecurity that we have aside and put intense focus on others.
Remember we can feel when others are paying individual attention or not. We can feel one is being him or herself or one is paying attention and communicate with one as an individual or one put us in a box, and communicate with one in such ways.
I think I should start a blog only about seduction because I love the concept.
It is a very difficult between giving myself to others and thinking about others.
I think I need to find who I am first, and focus on others.
As Steven, R Covey, put it, "Private Victory proceeds Public Victory."
2.Hesitation
That comes from self-observed part of us.
I tend to think in my head that
what do others think if I do this?
Am I boring?
What if I make a mistake!?!?
I am not saying this is bad!
It is very important to think and analyze using the mind, which is a great tool human beings have!!
However, it is a double-edged sword. It can make us fear everything and find problems in every situation.
That creates hesitation because there are doubts in mind.
In seduction, one who is being seduced want to feel that he/she is being led by others. Hesitation will break the flow. The one who is seduced will be thrown back to the reality in the moment they feel hesitation.
It is OK to make mistakes, huge mistakes, and you will.
However, do not act hesitantly, be bold.
28th Law of Power: Enter Action with Boldness
"Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity."
I think it is only a habit to be bold or timid.
It will be crucial to keep the flow in seduction.
Remember seduction is only a game like the life is like a game.
Do not take others seriously.
It is like playing a video game, and try to improve to be better.
To live is like a game. we are born in the world, and we need to play the game.
So,,,why don't we play the game, and enjoy it, improving our skill.
2019年9月7日土曜日
2019/09/05 Daily Journal
Hi.
I could not post a blog in two days in a row because I was really tired.
On September 4th, I worked part-time until 9:00 am, and yesterday, I went out with some of my friends from my university.
I feel my habits I tried to establish is bound to collapse, if I keep skipping doing it like that.
I need a certain strategy in life.
Even though I had a very busy time, I had a lot of realization, ideas and learning in the two days.
I do not want to throw this away, because not writing it down and learning from it.
Anyway, let's start from Daily Journal
What happened in that day.
I do not remember much, but I think it is very same as usual.
I woke up in the morning, and I felt still sick in that day, so I did not run outside or exercise. I did meditation, but I was almost half-asleep, so the session was useless.
I did meditation today, and it is really one of the most important activity to live.
To tame the most powerful but dangerous weapon human beings are given.
Learn to be bold.
I could not post a blog in two days in a row because I was really tired.
On September 4th, I worked part-time until 9:00 am, and yesterday, I went out with some of my friends from my university.
I feel my habits I tried to establish is bound to collapse, if I keep skipping doing it like that.
I need a certain strategy in life.
Even though I had a very busy time, I had a lot of realization, ideas and learning in the two days.
I do not want to throw this away, because not writing it down and learning from it.
Anyway, let's start from Daily Journal
What happened in that day.
I do not remember much, but I think it is very same as usual.
I woke up in the morning, and I felt still sick in that day, so I did not run outside or exercise. I did meditation, but I was almost half-asleep, so the session was useless.
I did meditation today, and it is really one of the most important activity to live.
To tame the most powerful but dangerous weapon human beings are given.
"The mind"
The mind does their own things over and over and over again.
Creating, associating, comparing, imagining, and so on.
This can be used to improve life, but sometimes it can destroy life.
In the past, this can be used to observe the surrounding, analyze, gather information,compare and analyze the information to find any other danger in life to survive.
To make the matter worse, we can not distinguish what it is and what is imagination.
We experience similar physical response in imagination and reality.
In addition, in imagination, we tend to make things much more serious than the reality.
As Seneca wrote,
"We suffer more from imagination than reality."
It is a way of protecting our own life, the more we avoid something dangerous, the more we tend to be alive.
However, if the mind goes too far, we fear and make so many problems around us that we cannot make any actions.
We will be trapped in imagination.
How can I avoid it?
I tend to use my mind much more than others.
Maybe others use their mind, and worry about it, but hide it because they do not want to let others see their insecurity.
I am searching the ways because I feel I am constantly in that state.
1.Immersed in reality
We tend to exaggerate problems or fear or confidence, grandiosity beyond the reality. It is when real problems enters. I should fear jumping from very high building because the feeling tells me that Okay, if you jump, you will be very in danger, Which is the truth. If I know about it, but I have no feeling, I might jump and die.
The problems occur when the fear is not based on reality.
For example, I have a crush in school, and I have been avoiding approaching her BECAUSE I fear being rejected.
My fear is so exaggerated that I will be dead if she rejects me. It is not based on reality.
Yeah, she is only one in life, and very precious.
I love her, but I can get over it. I know that I can.
However, I am so obsessed about her emotionally, which clouds my reason.
It is very unhealthy.
What will actually happen when I am rejected by her?
I maybe be hurt maybe for a very long time.
I maybe cry.
I maybe be good about that.
I do not know but I am sure that as the time passes, I get over it.
I can go out more and meet many women, so that I am more likely to fall in love again. It is another strategy.
As I realized by working part-time, actually I like women.
I might be fall in love easily. I am a that kind of person.
In the past, in the university, I am obsessed with another woman, and she was dating another man.
As I realized that, I was in love with another woman, so I did not feel so much emotion.
I think love is a disease which makes us blind.
It will go away with time.
Therefore, just admit I have a disease.
My strategy-Use the reason.
You will be OK even if you are rejected, and remember you will be rejected in the future.
Live in the present moment.
The moment will not come back again.
Learn to be bold.
I do not need to repress it. Just be a mad man. I think those who do not think much can be like one, and he will be hurt.
I tend to laugh about them...However, I should be ashamed of myself by repressing my emotion, not being myself.
Love her in the way I want to love.
Each of one has their own way to love.
For me, I would like to love from my strength.
sacrifice for her.
Being the best man in the universe for her.
Caring for her.
Thinking which makes her happy and pleasant.
Seduction is one of the most things I am interested in.
I need to admit it.
I want to love others emotionally plush rationally.
I actually do not know what I am saying right now.
I need a new article to rap this up.
To improve reasons, stoicism can be used and actually works really well, so I would like to keep practicing it.
2. Tame the mind.
The thoughts of Buddhism, mindful meditation and the idea of Taoism works for taming the mind.
Most of the suffering in life comes from the mind, and unnecessary desire or aversion. These masters realize a way of living which is less controlled by the mind.
I need to practice them.
2019年9月4日水曜日
2019/09/04 Daily Journy
What happened
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning.
I was very tired and sick, so I did not run outside.
I went to school by train. I read Self-reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I got to school, and I practice animation.
However, I was really sick and tired, so I could not focus that much as usual.
I went back home after that.
I slept because I was sick.
I woke up, and watch videos on philosophy.
I realized that I could meet and become interested in philosophy because I learned English.
There are so many video or books on philosophy in English, but not Japanese.
I am very gratitude about that.
I did not even realize that.
I could meet these books and ideas because I learned English.
I would like to start gratitude journal in the morning because I have so many great things in life, but they are covered with regrets, wants, future,worries, fears, and thoughts.
I have to appreciate what happened in the past and what will happen in the future so that I can be in the present moment.
Story: On Love and Belonging
Love others as who he or she is. Even though they act in a way that you do not like. They do their own things. Each of us has a unique talent and capability to accomplish. You do not have to be involved in people who you do not belong or like.
However, never think you are above them, or you are different. YOU ARE JUST A HUMAN BEING. SAME AS OTHERS.
Where do I belong and who should I love?
I am not sure about that. I belong to humanity and I love other human beings. Yes, we are selfish and governed by self-interest, but we are one of the kind.
On the train, we meet thousands of people.
Someone operates the train, and we go to school or work.
How awesome it is.
I would like to learn more about human nature, its history, and its potential.
I am very glad I am a human being.
I feel full and relieved when I love another not for my own sake, but for him/her.
It is really great we are in this world, and meet them.
Each of us is unique and different and have different story and history.
Each of us is deep and complex.
What is more interesting than that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sandwich at seven eleven--- 260 yen
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning.
I was very tired and sick, so I did not run outside.
I went to school by train. I read Self-reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I got to school, and I practice animation.
However, I was really sick and tired, so I could not focus that much as usual.
I went back home after that.
I slept because I was sick.
I woke up, and watch videos on philosophy.
I realized that I could meet and become interested in philosophy because I learned English.
There are so many video or books on philosophy in English, but not Japanese.
I am very gratitude about that.
I did not even realize that.
I could meet these books and ideas because I learned English.
I would like to start gratitude journal in the morning because I have so many great things in life, but they are covered with regrets, wants, future,worries, fears, and thoughts.
I have to appreciate what happened in the past and what will happen in the future so that I can be in the present moment.
Story: On Love and Belonging
Love others as who he or she is. Even though they act in a way that you do not like. They do their own things. Each of us has a unique talent and capability to accomplish. You do not have to be involved in people who you do not belong or like.
However, never think you are above them, or you are different. YOU ARE JUST A HUMAN BEING. SAME AS OTHERS.
Where do I belong and who should I love?
I am not sure about that. I belong to humanity and I love other human beings. Yes, we are selfish and governed by self-interest, but we are one of the kind.
On the train, we meet thousands of people.
Someone operates the train, and we go to school or work.
How awesome it is.
I would like to learn more about human nature, its history, and its potential.
I am very glad I am a human being.
I feel full and relieved when I love another not for my own sake, but for him/her.
It is really great we are in this world, and meet them.
Each of us is unique and different and have different story and history.
Each of us is deep and complex.
What is more interesting than that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sandwich at seven eleven--- 260 yen
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