March 14th: Daily Diary

Hi. I am Tsuyoshi.

I was so tired yesterday because I went to art school, and practice drawing yesterday, and I got to home at 10:00. After that, I played osu! and Smash Brothers with one of my friends online. It was a great time.

So, I observed several emotional reactions plus physical sensations yesterday.

In the train, a young girl with beautiful face sat next to her friend in front of me. Maybe be she is 13-18. With the arrangement of the seats in Japan, I and she sat face to face. I pretended to read a book, but I could not stop looking at her face because she was so beautiful. I analyzed my emotional reaction and physical sensation toward her. Just looking at her face, my body and especially felt warmer than before and my heart started to pound quickly. Her facial expression like smile, looking down, made me feel similar physical reaction. She also toughed her friend many times, and it made me mad.  This reaction is similar to the one I have already experienced, attraction toward opposite sex. I strongly understand how strongly our feeling is affected by the information we perceive, and how weak men are  at the appearance of women.  For Just looking at her, and even though I know nothing of her, I felt attracted to her.

Women is like spiders. They attract men with her appearance and wait in her web, and men go into the web just to be caught.

I think Cleopatra played men to gain the power by understanding the characteristic and weakness of men with her theatrical quality.

Perhaps,if I know the weakness of women which should be different from man's, I may be able to use it like her.

My Emotional Trigger 1:TYPE SEXUAL
Seeing an attractive women, maybe which has certain facial features or body, arises my attraction toward opposite sex. Her facial expression also affect the feeling. 

Physical Sensation
The body and especially heart feels warmer than before and the heart starts to pound quickly.

Everytime I read Robert Greene's book like The Laws of Human Nature, and imagine how these ideas can be used to deal with my life and control it. I felt different deep inside myself. My body feels somewhat less nervous, and more strong and confident. I think that is feeling of power and confidence. Actually the feeling is good, but as I write I realize that it is just an emotion. It is not rational. It is said when one gains power, it will change the person. When a person suddenly succeeds, it tends to change the person's personality. I think it is because the feeling of power. It is an emotion that can be used, but not you yourself. Always rely on yourself, your reasons.

My Emotional Trigger 3:POWER
When you feel you are bound to success or have power, you feel more confident, relaxed and bold.

Actually, I really like the feeling of power and I want to be in control of my life. What can I do to increase it? Read books that increase power, increase your knowledge, and practice and be a master. However, Don’t forget the beginner's mind.

Somethimes, it happens when I am not ready, yet I need to feel power to do the bold move or feel confident, maybe just pretending will increase your confidence. Just stand straight, feel you are good, jump up and down, enjoy life, love yourself, feel strong, you can do it, capable of it. Remember feeling of power is just an emotion. What is above emotion? Rationality.

Remember true confidence will not come in this way, but through experiences and learning by actions.

Happiness is the feeling that power increases - that resistance is being overcome.

 Nietzsche