Daily Diary 201808/26

What I have done today.
I did meditation in the morning.

Read and watched books on YouTube, it was like a procrastination to practice drawing. I need to overcome this tendency to escape from what is hard.

I went to MacDonald to submit a stool examination.

After that, I went to dentist to have a tooth fixed.

Back to home, I read a book or watch a YouTube video.

Finally, I practiced exercises of Natural Way to Draw.

I ate dinner and walked outside while listening to 50th law by Robert Greene.

Chapter on self-reliance

I think listening to an audio book while walking is one of the most productive experience I have.

I found my weakness there. 

I need to be completely self-reliant. I unconsciously think that others might help me in some ways. 

I need to let go off all of the comfort thought.
Burn the ship behind.

Remember
No one or no relationship will help me.
Everyone is governed by self-interest.
I am essentially alone in this world, and I have to stand up for myself.

I need to make this habits. I need to listen to chapter on self-reliance everyday until it is deep inside my brain.

I need to be able to stand up straight in this world whatever happens.
I have everything that I have. Accept that. Go for it.

It will never be a time for me to be a perfect timing to do something. Even though I have little now. Do something with what you have.


in the morning, take some time to improve something about myself.

Everything in my life comes back to me. I am RESPONSIBLE.


Story
Living this life, which is always the same. Family there, friends there. It seems like the life is in my control. However, it was illusion. The life is harsh, and I realize no one is on my side. They are governed by their self-interest. I felt betrayed by others not acting on my expectations. However, it only increased my frustration.
Once I realized others are just seeking their self-interest, and stop being dependent on others, and start standing on my own foot. I started to feel liberated.
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Cost
850