2019/08/23 Daily Journal

What happened today
I practiced exercises of Natural Way to Draw for 1 hour 30 min.
I felt miserable for a long time for a long time. I do not know why, maybe because of my mindset.
After practicing drawing, I fell asleep because I could not sleep well yesterday night. I think the reason is because I broke night ritual and I study at night.
I want to make this habits night.
Then, I still felt miserable.

I wanted to change how I feel about myself, so I read sell-reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 
After that I checked Facebook and found one of my college friend was really successful. At first, I felt some envy. However, words from Emerson came to me.

Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide.

Can my life compare to his life. In society's standard, yeah he may be much more successful than me. This is only judgement of others. Nothing can be good or evil, only interpretation remains. I should never compare myself to others, and I have decided to do so no matter what.
Each of us is unique. He is doing his own work. I will do my own work.

That is it!!

What I all have to do is to see what is, and to compare myself with others is against what is, uniqueness.

It was one of the most precious walk I have ever experience.

Emotional reaction
Whenever I compare myself or my life with others, I feel miserable.
Whenever I realize I am unique and believe in what is in me. I feel good.

I  think comparison is something that the mind does. It distract me to see each of one as a very unique human being with a different way of seeing the world, DNA, and experiences. The mind want to put a man into a box. I think it is not according to nature. 

I need to distinguish what the mind is good at or bad at.

In strategy or planning, the mind is good.

In living according to nature, listen to the instinct.

After that, I worked out in the gym.
I run for min.
I trained my muscle for 15 min

Ate dinner

Story: Man, do not confirm to what others do or think of you, follow your heart. Do not live other people's expectation. They know nothing about you, and they care nothing about you. What matter is inside yourself. in what situation, you are in. speak out what you think right, and believe what you believe to be right. You are only one in the universe, just listen to yourself.
         
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Drink in the gym 100yen