Overcoming Pain, and beginner's mind

Hi.

Today, I started going to gym and swam.

I have not swam for a long time, so I was shit at it.

I paid a lot of money on it, so I need to go to the gym so that I can make the money worth.

However, there will be a problem for it. One of the human nature. Pleasure principles.

We, human being tend to avoid feeling of pain, and seek for pleasure. Therefore, we would like

repetition, doing the same thing over and over and over again. Avoid confronting the reality even if

the reality is not so bad. We do not like to change even though the world is in a constant change.

If we want to advance in the world, we have to shift our paradigms.

Going to the gym and swim is not pleasurable at all even though I like swimming.

It feels terrible. My muscles hurts, and I suck at swimming!  It is fucking hard.

I could only swim for 30 min today. My muscle for swimming was so weak that I could not swim for

a long time.

This happens every aspect of life if we want to master any skills, love, improving  drawing,

overcoming emotions,

Life is not always pleasurable.  If it is not painful, it means I learn nothing or I have to push it harder.

If I know that pain is not bad, it mean I need to work harder.

I think I can keep going to the gym or practice drawing even if it is hard and painful.

Oh, I had a emotional reaction today.

My emotional reaction
Feeling of attraction toward opposite sex

When I signed up for the gym, the employee who helped me was fucking cute.

and she looks at my eye so strongly, I felt nervous. I think it is a emotion and attraction toward

opposite sex. It is different from feeling of love. At the time, when I confront it, and talked to myself

that it is just a emotion. I started to feel better to talk with her.