Thought on Hesitation July 10th

Long time no see guys.

My life is fucking hard these days

These days, I was so busy. I was surrounded by homework and duties. I feel I will lost my mind.

I tend to feel distressed.

Today, I had a chance to help one person, but I hesitated for a long time that I missed the chance to do it. She suffered and suffered. I did not act according to my ruling principles.  The feeling was awful. I hesitated taking actions because I feared making mistakes. She did not die in this case, but the similar situation might come when one's life is in danger if I do not take actions to save him/her.

Can I do it?

Hesitation is one of the biggest obstacle in my life.

My weakness is being timid sometimes. Especially, being bold, taking action when others see my action, speak in front of other people.

In the future, there will be a time when I need my courage to act according to my ruling principles like protecting my loved ones or taking actions to change the situation.

I will be tested constantly to prove myself.

Next time, when you feel you have to do something in my mind... JUST DO IT!!!
Remember you exaggerate your fear to do it. Whatever the result is. Don't care other people's reaction.

Reflections

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” 
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Enchiridion by epictetus
When you do anything from a clear judgment that it ought to be done, never shrink from being seen to do it, even though the world should misunderstand it; for if you are not acting rightly, shun the action itself; if you are, why fear those who wrongly censure you?